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| ITALIAN |
Lace up your Chuck Taylors and throw
on a flannel shirt, we're taking a trip to the '90s. A '90s of a PARALLEL TIME!
The year is 1982. Both funny man
John Belushi and guitar shredder Randy Rhoads pass away. Rocker Wendy O Williams sues several
Milwaukee police for physical abuse endured while she arrested. “Ghandi” and
“Conan the Barbarian” share the silver screen – now that's a fight I'd like to
see. And the compact disc is debut.
All aboard! The “Action Movie Time
Machine” is dialed into the time stream of “1990: The Bronx Warriors”, a film
that predicts the post apocalyptic world of New York City in 1990.
THE SKINNY
The film is set in the post
apocalyptic New York City of 1990. The Bronx, where our story unfolds, is
controlled by several vicious gangs who patrol their territories and coordinate
their Technicolor outfits for maximum bad-ass-itude. The gang related crime has
become so great that all attempts to restore law and order have been
unsuccessful, and the Bronx is now regarded a “no man's land” by the
authorities. All of this we learn from the films “Escape from New York” style
prologue.
The film
begins with seventeen year old Ann, who has runaway from her Manhattan Catholic
school and found her way into the Bronx. Soon she is discovered and attacked by
one of the many colorful gangs following in the footsteps of such films as “The
Warriors”. Her attackers are the Zombies. A gang who's mode of transportation
is roller skates. Their weapons are white hockey sticks and they wear matching
white Stahlhelme (Nazi helmets). Soon Ann's attackers are confronted by a rival
gang, the Riders, who are nothing more
than a biker gang. the Riders dish out a bit of the ol' ultra violence to the
Zombies and Trash, The Rider's leader, takes Ann as his biker bride. Ann
doesn't seem to mind. She and Trash hit it off and spend the following days
making underage love.
Ann has
escaped a world of privilege and power to live in... the Bronx. She could have
used her family's money and influence to go anywhere in the world, but she
chose the Bronx. The gang infested – ghetto-ass Bronx. Why you ask? Well she is
running from responsibility. Once she turns eighteen she will inherit the
family business, The Manhattan Corporation, which is the largest single company
in the United States. In short she doesn't want her life devoted to the board meetings and conference calls of a god
sized entity that influences the decisions of first world countries and owning
those of the second and third. Instead... she chooses the Bronx. That'll show
that stuffy old board of directors.
In order
to get Ann away from danger and back into Catholic school, the vice-president
of the company sends in a private contractor, a man who goes by the name
Hammer, to infiltrate the Bronx, track and retrieve Ann. The Riders learn about
Hammer when he gets a little too close to the gang while doing some recon. He
happens upon a member of the Riders and his lady getting' busy in a stairwell
of an abandoned apartment building. Hammer shoots them both point blank in the
chest with a shotgun. The noise alerts Trash and the rest who search the
building and chase Hammer but can't catch him.
Around
this time another of the Riders turns up dead. This time at the hands of the
gang known as the Tigers – a gang of well dressed pimps. He was found
trespassing on Tiger territory, so The Ogre, leader of the Tigers played by
Fred “The Hammer” Williamson, removes his heart as a punishment. In the
process, The Ogre discovers that he was wearing a “gizmo” (a police
issue tracking device). This news gets back to the Riders and causes them to
quarrel among themselves. Some think it's all a lie and The Ogre is moving in
on their territory. However, Trash has had a long conversation with Ann, who
believes all these killings are connected and are the doing of the Manhattan
Corporation. Trash devises a plan to
take his best men, travel through the other territories and meet with
The Ogre. With The Ogre on his side, the gangs could team up and smoke out
Hammer and whoever else has ties to the Manhattan Corporation.
Along the
way, Trash and his men encounter several other gangs who they must defeat.
First the Iron Men – a gang of face painted, tap dancing theater types, then
the Scavengers – a nomadic group or club wielding barbarians and finally the
Tigers who they have to fight their way thou before they earn an audience with
The Ogre. When they do, The Ogre and the Tigers are on board.
Meanwhile,
Ice, one of the Riders, has been making a power play to lead the gang. He has
made a deal with Hammer – telling him Trash's plan to team up with The Ogre.
Ice then meets with the leader of the Zombies, who've captured Ann, and
convinces them to use Ann as bate to draw in Trash and eliminate him for good.
Everything
comes to a head when The Ogre and Trash arrive at the Zombies' hideout. The
Ogre takes on the Zombie leader while Trash frees Ann and gets his revenge for
Ice turning traitor. They then battle their way out against the entire Zombie
gang before they return to the Tiger's territory where they, together, defend
themselves against a Hammer lead invasion of police armed with flame throwers.
This
invasion is an all out slaughter. People are set on fire left and right. Over
half of the people who bite it in this entire film die here in this final scene
along with The Ogre, Hammer and even Ann. The only survivor is Trash, who rides
out into the sunset dragging Hammer's body by his motorcycle. The End.
THE
VERDICT
“1990:
The Bronx Warriors” comes from Italian director Enzo Castellari and I believe
THIS is the reason it falls into both the good and bad categories. While it
isn't original, which I'm sure you figured out for yourself from my referencing
of several other similar films, but it is original enough in it's own right. It
is well filmed, acted and scored but has a distinct European feel to it which
detracts from it's action packed potential. It's a bit subdued compared to
American made action films of the same vintage.
Being an
Italian film made in the States, the film is largely made up of an Italian
speaking cast who have all been dubbed, which makes for some pretty interesting
lines of dialogue... Or, maybe it's the script that has been translated which
makes for the interesting dialogue. Anyhow, one of my favorite lines came from Trash when the Riders were
discussing some planted evidence found where Hammer killed the two with his
shotgun; “Look, it could be a pile of shit outta somebodies asshole!”. Weirdly
specific when he could have just said; “Look, it could just be bullshit for all
we know!”.
Speaking
of Hammer. Why didn't Fred “The Hammer” Williamson play the character Hammer?
Sure Fred looks better dressed as a tough guy pimp, but with a name like that
it just makes sense.
There
were two other things that seemed strange that I would like to point out. The
first occurs when The Ogre and The Tigers pay the Riders a visit to tell them
about the “gizmo”. The whole time this scene goes on, there is a drummer
playing. No, I mean the drummer is sitting next to the Riders, beating the
skins all alone and I don't know why he's there other than he is REALLY good.
Why set up your drum kit in the middle of nowhere just to play for a biker
gang? Did the Riders call him ahead of time to let him know when they would be
there, or does he always practice there and today there just so happened to be
some heavy gang related shit going down?
The
second thing occurs when Ann is being rescued from the Zombies. As she watches
Trash beat up some Zombie gang members in slow motion, she starts to breath
heavy and her lip quivers. She is totally turned on by Trash's brain bashing
machismo. Then, moments later, as Trash is talking to Ann, who is sitting on
the ground, we see the back of Trash and his mace like weapon poking out from
in front of him. It just so happens to be at Ann's eye level and she can't take
her eyes off of it. This is phallic as all hell. Leave it to an Italian
filmmaker to come up with a way to turn that scene into a hidden moment of sex.
So in the
end, it's unfortunate that “1990: The Bronx Warriors” isn't very original, but
it is also too good to be bad. I feel that this could easily be a forgotten
cult classic if it was able to stand out more from it's peers with more than
odd dialogue and sexual innuendo. In my opinion it should have been a full
blown grindhouse flick with boobs and blood galore. Maybe it's sequel “Escape
from the Bronx” has a little more to offer.
Again,
it's not a bad film. Maybe if you're bored with “The Warriors” you should give
this one a try.
I’m Cory
Carr and this concludes our trip on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Until next
time, Semper Fi!
For more
from Cory, check out his website slaughterfilm.com, where
he and his good friend Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the
films that are legendary, even in Hell!
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