Bloated dialogue that makes your head spin. Tango and Cash is on the edge of it’s so bad it’s good. Unfortunately it doesn’t even make it to that level and leaves on the table too much protential of what could of been.
Tango and Cash
Showing posts with label 1989. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 1989. Show all posts
Monday, August 27, 2018
Sunday, December 17, 2017
(Ep. 95): Elves - Movie Commentary: December 2017
Elves
_________________________________________________________________________________
Release date: October 24, 1989
Director: Jeffrey Mandel
Screenplay: Jeffrey Mandel
Music composed by: Vladimir Horunzhy
That time of the year is back when the gang sits around and watches nothing but terrible holiday themed movies.
Today is not only our first appearance of Dan Haggerty here at Simplistic Reviews but also a ending for a movie that flabbergasted DJ. I suppose this would already be enough for a Movie Commentary but nope...that's not all. We also have a homeless department store Santa investigating a modern-day Neo-Nazi plot to finally bring about the master race that Hitler had always dreamed of.Instead of a race of pure-blood Aryans, it is revealed that Hitler dreamed of a race of half-human/half-elf hybrids.
Yep... what a movie everyone. So grab that egg nog and sit back, things are about to get weird.
Merry Christmas!
P.S. Enjoy the Elves because next week is a cold one set on a tropical island. Try not to question it.
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
(Ep. 82): Savage Beach - Movie Commentary: January 2017
1989 | Action | 92 min
Ready for a trip to Savage Beach?
Come and enjoy beautiful our water
Wine and dine with at the island's number 1 restaurant.
And come see the last of what the 80's have to offer in Andy Sidaris'...
Savage Beach
Ladies and Gentlemen WE ARE BACK!
THE WOMEN!
THE GUNS!
THE OVER THE TOP CRAZIEST ACTION SCENES!
Ah... 2017 is going to be a good year! All new 90's Andy Sidaris' Films to watch. Honestly what more could you want?!
Shit...I just remembered...the 90's sucked and the world is in turmoil. Oh well let's enjoy what we have left then.
Drug agents Donna (Dona Speir) and Taryn (Hope Marie Carlton) crash-land on a
remote island, rumored to have a gold treasure. Treasure isn't the only
thing on this island, war-gold seekers searching for their gold will do
anything for riches.
Initial release: 1989
Director: Andy Sidaris
Screenplay: Andy Sidaris
Music composed by: Gary Stockdale
Friday, January 13, 2017
What Does it Mean to "Do The Right Thing"
*The opinion of Matt does not necessarily coincide with the opinions of the rest of the crew of Simplistic Reviews.
This year will celebrate the 28th anniversary of the Spike Lee Joint, "Do The Right Thing." But the question we always ask ourselves is, "What is the right thing?" Is there a "right" thing? And if there is a "right" thing, how does one make the decision on what the "right" thing is?
There's no doubt that "Thing" was a film that happened at the right place at the right time, and while other films have tried to emulate the race divide and a sign of the times, see also Lee's "Summer of Sam" for a look into the racial and cultural divide in 1970s New York, there still isn't a film, for my money, that captures the anger, anxiety, and zeitgeist of a city sitting on a powder keg. Of course, art often imitates life, and in recent years with police shootings, gang violence, political discourse, and attacks on immigrants, minorities, and the LGBT community on the rise, we all live in uncertain times.
Oh, there is also the fact that we have a bullying, fear-mongering, divisive, reality-show starring megalomaniac about to take the Oath of Office as the 45th President of the United States, but don't worry folks, go watch some foxes jumping in the snow (actually, that doesn't sound like a bad idea).
Back to the point, in "Thing" the climax reaches a fever pitch when the character "Radio" Raheem is murdered by NYPD officers, a fire hose is turned again an angry mob and our "hero," Mookie, played by Lee, throws a trash can through the window of local pizzeria, Sal's Famous. A lot of anger is loaded into the final 15 minutes of the film, but it brings up the question; What is the "Right" thing?
This is an argument that I've gotten into with a lot of people. Personally, I'm always interested to hear what people think is the "right" thing. The biggest point of contention is always whether Mookie should have thrown the garbage can through the window of Sal's Famous. While I understand why this might be a point to argue between people, I'm on the side of this being the "right" thing. Simply, it was rightful rage over the death of an innocent citizen by the "trusted" police force which forces another citizen to act in way that many may never understand how to act. Of course, in turn, this action also saves the lives of Sal and his sons, despite the fact that their business is destroyed by an angry mob. That's the simple way to breakdown the climax of "Thing," but there is much more leading to this choice.
Other aspects of the story certainly play a big part in Mookie's decision. The New York heat, Sal not paying Mookie before the day was up, being accused of being a dead-beat father, the constant harassment by Smiley, there are several aspects of the day that sets Mookie off, but the most reasonable is always going to be seeing "Radio" Raheem murdered in front of him by police who are tasked with upholding the law and having the CPR (Courtesy Professionalism Respect) on the side of their cruiser (the irony). It's a layered argument that can be tossed back and forth, but the reason we still reference "Thing" as the movie that still commands our attention a quarter of a century after it's release is the climate we live in currently.
Police still systematically target minorities which often ends in horrific results, and police are overworked with less officers on the ground to do the job correctly, not to mention the fact that many officers are ill-equipped to get the job done correctly. An overburdened and broken system leads to misjudgment and tragedies that will continue to happen.
Is violence the "right" thing...no....however, when you are kicked, prodded, marginalized, and made to feel that you have no rights as a citizen, what are you going to do? Throwing a TV through a window might be a start, but how about throwing your vote in a ballot box on a local level to make the immediate change that is needed to hopefully, at some point, make a bigger change.
Much was made when "Thing" was released, including comments that viewing this film would incite riots. Lee's response was whether critics believed that minorities, namely African-American's, were unable to control their impulses while viewing a work of fiction. It was a perfect response for people that just don't get it, and will never get it. Hell, if "Thing" makes you angry, IT SHOULD! While it WAS a work of fiction it was still inspired by true events, namely the beating and murder of Michael Stewart by NYPD officers, and we are still seeing the endless deaths of African-Americans around the country, sadly at the hands of law enforcement officials. We should all be upset by this, while Lee is being a politician about it, he should have said "Yes, people should get upset about this film, it's happening, this is the world we live in!"
So, what is the "right" thing? IS there a "right" thing? The "right" thing is to take tragedy and knowledge and apply it in a way that changes the course of your life, your country, and your politics. We are living in scary times, with people in charge that seem to like to "troll" the American people. We literally have an Internet troll who is poised to take the office of The President of the United States shortly. Think about that....someone who made his career firing the like of Lil John and Dennis Rodman from a fake job interview show is going to be hiring people to look after Civil Rights cases and reading the most classified of files, will be running our country for what could be up to eight years.
The "right" thing is to follow the mantra of Public Enemy and "Fight the Power." But fighting the power is more than just with your fists. Fight with your empathy, fight with your courage, fight with your knowledge, shit, fight for your right to party, because if anything you always have the "right to fight."
Friday, October 7, 2016
Ep. 75: Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016
Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!
Beware! Children at Play
1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989
Well that happened...
DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.
:)
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
The Horror Time Capsule - 1989: Friday the 13th Pt. 8: Jason Takes Manhattan
 |
| CHEESE |
There is good cheese, and bad cheese; "Friday the 13th Pt. 8" is equals part both, mainly because it is so God damned 80s. It reeks of everything the 1980s was and will always be remembered by. In fact, this film is the most 80s of all the films in the series. Did I mention how 80s this film is....
So, "Jason Takes Manhattan." Once again, Jason rises from the grave, again, with the help of some lightning and a metal anchor. After his first two welcome back kill of some horny, and whiny, teens, he catches a ride with more horny and whiny teens on a high school cruise to New York City. On this doomed cruise is Renny, a teen who also happens to have some history with Jason, her dickhead "stepfather-of-sorts" and Kelly Hu in one of her first roles.
Needless to say, Jason kills a bunch of kids, visits Manhattan, and is of course stopped in one of the oddest endings to a "Friday the 13th" movie.
Two things that stand out to me in this one is the resemblance to "The New Blood." We have a teen heroine who has a history with Jason in addition to an overbearing father figure and worrisome mother figure. There is a pseudo-romance between said heroine and hero that is somewhat awkward, and of course the girl who is jealous of the heroine but gets her comeuppance.
The other thing is the vision of New York itself. People tend to forget that New York in the 80s and 90s was pretty much a cesspool. It was pretty dirty and you could say dangerous before gentrification took over. There also seemed to be a lot of open toxic waster just hanging around. New Yorkers who grew up in the 80s and 90s in the city, is this true?
Anyway, while this is one of the weaker edition in the series, it's still totally watchable if not just for the fashion, funny Jason kills, and of course we can't forget Kane Hodder who just brings something special to the Jason role.
For more awesome 80s fashion, check out these other hits:
976-EVIL
Friday the 13th Pt 8
Halloween 5
Leviathan
Nightmare on Elm Street 5
Pet Sematary
Warlock
Wednesday, July 8, 2015
Slaughter Film Presents: Action Movie Time Machine - Cyborg
ANIME-ISH
With a new “Terminator” movie in theaters, I
thought it best to take a look at another film series that features cybernetic
entities, “Cyborg”. Oh, why not the “Terminator” franchise you ask? Because
punk! I just reviewed a bunch of Arnold flicks , and besides, I bet you don't
know nothin' about “Cyborg”.
The year
is 1989. The Exxon Valdez runs aground and spills 1,2000,000 gallons of oil,
Nintendo releases the wildly successful Game Boy, and “Batman” battled “Indiana Jones...” at the
box office. All this and Jean-Claude Van Damme battles to save the world from
futuristic pirates in “Cyborg“.
THE
SKINNY
The film
takes place in New York City , in “the future” and it's explained to us
in a voice over that over the past few decades there has been anarchy,
genocide, famine and now a plague that has ravaged humanity. But there is hope,
in the form of a cure.
These
words are told to us by Fender, Vincent Klyn, the films antagonist and all
around evil guy. He then explains that he enjoys the suffering, the death and
he wants to get his hands on the cure so he can control it and live like a god
– choosing who lives and who dies.
Early in
the film, Fender and his gang of post-apocalyptic dressed Village People rape
and pillage a seaside settlement and as this happens, we see a lady cyborg
being shooed out the back. She has been given specific orders to escape Fender
and his gang, locate and hire a “slinger” to help protect her on her
journey and deliver the cure to the right people in Atlanta who will be able to
develop it and restore humanity.
Somewhere
there are internet nerds writing blog posts theorizing that “Cyborg” and “The
Walking Dead” are somehow connected. There aren't any zombie in “Cyborg“, but
the plague could be the same disease that brought about the “walkers”. And just
because you don't see zombies, doesn't mean that they aren't there. In the
second season of The Walking Dead, Rick's crew make their way to the C.D.C. in
Atlanta looking for salvation and answers. In “Cyborg” the lady cyborg, who's
name is Pearl, is also making her way to Atlanta to deliver the cure and reach
salvation. Conspiracy alert! “Cyborg” is set in the future of “The Walking
Dead“. You just read it on the internet, so it MUST be true!
Fender is
one of those evil dudes who's goals are so extreme that you wonder, “if he
gets his way how would even he survive?”. He's a bit of a comicbook
super-villian in the way that they might concoct a scheme to destroy the world,
never taking into account that if Earth explodes so will they.
I mean
sure, he will have the cure, or at least the recipe for the cure, but he isn't
a scientist. How the hell would he know what to do with it if he catches the
plague? Or if enough humans die, what is there to rule over? Does this guy know
how to grow and cultivate his own food to survive in this post-apocalyptic
wasteland?
We're
only ten minutes in and already Fender's motives are suspect. But I digress.
Soon
Pearl happens into the same ramshackle town and encounters Gibson, Jean-Claude
Van Damme, who is a former “slinger” and survivor of this brutal world that
they live in. Pearl explains her quest – even telling him that she is a cyborg
as she pleads for him to escort her to Atlanta. But before he can make up his
mind, they are ambushed by Fender and his gang. They take Pearl and leave
Gibson for dead.
This
isn't the first time Gibson has encountered Fender. As we learn through an
entire series of flashbacks, Gibson gave up the life of being hired mercenary,
aka “slinger”, to settle down with the love of his wife and her two children.
But not long after they settled in a nice country home, Fender shows up to
rape, kill and kidnap Gibson's newly adopted daughter to be used as a sex slave.
Now, only
mildly interested in saving the cure, Gibson heads south from New York to
Atlanta to track and hunt Fender.
Along the
way Gibson meets another damsel in distress, Nady, Deborah Richter. He allows
her to tag along while protecting her from Fender's attacks and she in return
acts as his moral compass. Before long, Gibson softens to the young woman and
she becomes his love interest.
This is
something that Fender uses to his advantage once he is tipped off that Gibson
is tracking him. He sets a trap, luring Gibson and Nady into an abandoned
factory building where Gibson manages to fight off wave after wave of attacks
before he is outnumbered and forced to flee with a wounded Nady. Fender and his
gang follow Gibson and Nady, and they are overtaken .
But
first, Gibson's kidnapped daughter makes her presence known. Now, all grown up
and brainwashed, she appears, to show her adopted father that she is now in
love with her captor. Whoa, what a mind fuck!
Gibson is
tied to the mast of an old sailboat and left to die...again. Flashbacks of
Fender attacking his family bring on a rage educed “hulk-up” that allows Gibson
to shatter the mast – freeing himself – and he and Nady continue on to Atlanta
in pursuit Fender and Pearl.
Along the
way Gibson gets a clue and this time decides to not play by Fender's rules and
instead plan a trap for him. Like a scene out of “300” or “Lord of the Rings”,
Gibson forces Fender and his gang through a narrow passage in some junkyard
town – The Battle of Helm's Garbage Heap.
Here
Gibson picks off Fender's remaining crew before he and Fender battle it out
themselves – just as a storm rolls in.
Because you can't have a kick-ass final boss fight with out thunder and
lightning.
The
slug-fest ends when Fender introduces a knife. Gibson breaks his arm, takes the
knife and stabs him in the chest with it. Ya think that would be enough, but it
isn't. Fender re-animates and the fight continues. Gibson then impales him on a
giant hook.
In the
end, Gibson gets reacquainted with his kidnapped daughter, Haley. They, with
Pearl, mourn the loss of Nady, who was killed protecting Pearl from Fender's
gang leading up to the final fight.
Before
the credits roll, we see Pearl reaching her Atlanta contact and I can only
assume that the cure fixes the world...Who am I kidding? I know that's not true
because there are two more “Cyborg” movies.
THE VERDICT
Gibson
becomes locked in heated battle with Fender to a fight to the death... So these
guys are named after guitars...*facepalm. Wait a minute, the name Pearl
is a company that manufactures top of the line drums. I would bet money that
they tried to name Nady “Zildjian”.
The story
isn't the most original, but it isn't bad. It's really a collection of
futuristic things thrown in the same pot together and often feels like an anime
in the way the fights are choreographed and filmed, and even “The Seven
Samurai” somehow. Some scenes have minimal dialogue and this might be what
lends itself to feel a bit like an anime – sorta foreign.
The
cyborg effects don't look as good as say, “Terminator”, but for a low budget
Cannon film, I think they turned out pretty good. Believe me, I've seen some
crap effects in my time and these here aren't half bad.
The
fights are creative in the way Gibson and his enemies use their surroundings,
and in JCVD's case, his splits. What makes the fights look less good is the
editing and certain camera angles. This is true for the entire film, mostly
where editing is concerned. It just isn't edited very smoothly. And as for the
camera angles, sometimes the camera is in a creative place/angle while other
times it feels like it's in the way of the action.
The
acting is the weakest element to this film. JCVD isn't the best actor, but he
certainly isn't awful. With that said, this is one of his earlier works and
isn't his best. The rest of the cast is on par with the special effects – not
the greatest but by Cannon standards it's top notch. Vincent Klyn however...is
something. He's odd to look at and odd to listen to and some of his dialogue
seems like it was written with “A Clockwork Orange” in mind or something
and...he's just an odd dude.
So in
conclusion, “Cyborg” is an interesting addition to the post-apocalyptic sci-fi
films of the '80s not as good as the immortal “Terminator” and certainly not as
bad as some of the other post-apocalyptic VHS flicks that I've reviewed in
months past. It hovers somewhere between entertaining and watchable.
I’m Cory
Carr and this concludes another trip in The Action Movie Time Machine. Until
next time, SEMPER FI PUNK!
For more
from Cory, check out slaughterfilm.com. The home of weekly podcasts,
reviewing the films that are legendary, even in Hell!
Monday, July 7, 2014
SR Podcast (Ep. 27): July 2014 - Lethal Weapon 2 - Movie Commentary
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
Alright folks, it's time to dust off your flannel, feather your mullet and bust out the VCR again because it's time for another Simplistic Reviews Movie Commentary. We return to 1989 with another classic; "Lethal Weapon 2." The sequel to another classic,"Lethal Wepon," "Weapon 2" pretty much ups the ante over it's predecessor and exceeds and it some ways. This time around Riggs and Murtaugh are on the trail of a group of South Africans who are into some shady dealings, including a guy who might be David Warner.
Whereas "Weapon 1" was a pretty dark film, "Weapon 2" is a the perfect balance of humor, bombastic action, and gritty cop drama. With that said, sit back, strap yourself in (if you're into that type of thing) and get ready to yuck it up with three guys who make Jones, Mahoney, and Hooks look like legit cops with "Lethal Weapon 2."
Monday, June 23, 2014
Batman
Batman: Quintessential
1989/126mins/Action
There are only a couple films that I can pick from that have influenced me at a very young age. Back to Future is one and the other is today's review.
Batman is pretty much a perfect film even though its a film plagued with errors.
Vicki Vale entering the Batcave. (Say What?! Thanks Alfred)
Batman killing the Joker. (Wait... Batman just killed the Joker?)
The Joker killing Martha and Thomas Wayne. (Wait what?)
Batman creating the Joker. (Ugh you made me first)
Batman being a mass murder. (I think Batman kills more than the Joker)
These are big issues, yet Batman continues to be the best Batman film to have ever been made. How is that possible?
Because Batman 89 has everything to make a summer blockbuster and everything to make a staple of a film for a young boy’s mind.
Lets start with the cast
The cast is absolutely perfect. Of course at the time everyone had issues with it, but overtime the film holds up with help from its characters and actors. Michael Keaton is Batman! He will always be a favorite for us 80's and 90's kids. When I first met Neal he asked me about who I thought was the best Batman. I said Bale comes close but hands down I have to say Keaton. Keaton brought Batman from a joke to a icon. I am a big fan of the comedy of 66’s Batman but it will always piss me off. Batman was not that, he is what Keaton showed us. Keaton’s ability to pull off Batman and Bruce is something we really haven’t had since. Bale again is the only one that comes close, but falls short with that voice. Keaton got it. Keaton went to that dark place in his voice and for that he will always be the Batman/Bruce of the big screen.
Jack Nicholson as the Joker is hands-down one of the greatest castings in film history. He as a actor that took that role and stole each scene he was in. Vicki Vale played by Kim Basinger has always been my favorite Batman love interest since maybe Andrea Beaumont. No female since has been able to pull off her part. The cast is a classic and I hope we get another Batman film with a fantastic cast like this in the future.
The story is a simple telling of the origin while using flashbacks. It’s very well written, and the structure is fantastic. I’m amazed what Sam Hamm did with this script. I'm more amazed Sam Hamm didn’t become a well known writer. Right now Hamm’s IMDB page shows 9 credits. How is that possible? He really did a great job with this film. When Batman Returns came around he kind of was given the shaft. He gets credit for story but if you ever get a chance to read his script you’ll find a good read. In fact I really wish they went more with his then Daniel Waters.
That score and soundtrack, WOW!
Danny Elfman! Elfman created the greatest theme ever! Sure Superman has a good one, Star Wars is cool but Batman! Come on its amazing and why the hell did we not bring it back. Elfman created a score that just fits perfectly. It’s dark and beautiful. Yet it’s very strange and exciting. I want to feel this again in the theater and I hope we get this theme back, come on Zimmer DO IT! I double dare you! Now Prince created a period of time that will forever be playing in my ears. I listen to this soundtrack almost every week. The film gets watch almost every week too, yep I’m not joking. Happy or angry I will queue up that soundtrack and play the hell out of it.
Art direction is incredible. Something you will never see anywhere else. When I look at that set I think to myself this is a once in a lifetime experience. That suit is my favorite version ever to be done. Zack Snyder is coming close, still we haven’t seen it in color yet, but you can never go wrong with full black and that yellow belt and logo.
Tim Burton pulled off one of the greatest feats in film history. He was a kid at the time. A kid with the most expensive film riding on his back and he pulled it off. I don’t think he really tries anymore, which sadness me. His early work is far superior and is something I dearly miss. But what Burton gave me makes up completely for his recent films. He gave me a childhood, which I reminisce about once and awhile. Batman was and is everything to me. Without this film, things could be different. I might of not of been that little boy with the black towel attached with those clothes pins running. And for that I can only think of a simpler time and say thanks for the great film.
Happy 25th Birthday!
Oh and...
I'm Batman!
1989/126mins/ActionThere are only a couple films that I can pick from that have influenced me at a very young age. Back to Future is one and the other is today's review.
Batman is pretty much a perfect film even though its a film plagued with errors.
Vicki Vale entering the Batcave. (Say What?! Thanks Alfred)
Batman killing the Joker. (Wait... Batman just killed the Joker?)
The Joker killing Martha and Thomas Wayne. (Wait what?)
Batman creating the Joker. (Ugh you made me first)
Batman being a mass murder. (I think Batman kills more than the Joker)
These are big issues, yet Batman continues to be the best Batman film to have ever been made. How is that possible?
Because Batman 89 has everything to make a summer blockbuster and everything to make a staple of a film for a young boy’s mind.
Lets start with the cast
The cast is absolutely perfect. Of course at the time everyone had issues with it, but overtime the film holds up with help from its characters and actors. Michael Keaton is Batman! He will always be a favorite for us 80's and 90's kids. When I first met Neal he asked me about who I thought was the best Batman. I said Bale comes close but hands down I have to say Keaton. Keaton brought Batman from a joke to a icon. I am a big fan of the comedy of 66’s Batman but it will always piss me off. Batman was not that, he is what Keaton showed us. Keaton’s ability to pull off Batman and Bruce is something we really haven’t had since. Bale again is the only one that comes close, but falls short with that voice. Keaton got it. Keaton went to that dark place in his voice and for that he will always be the Batman/Bruce of the big screen.
The story is a simple telling of the origin while using flashbacks. It’s very well written, and the structure is fantastic. I’m amazed what Sam Hamm did with this script. I'm more amazed Sam Hamm didn’t become a well known writer. Right now Hamm’s IMDB page shows 9 credits. How is that possible? He really did a great job with this film. When Batman Returns came around he kind of was given the shaft. He gets credit for story but if you ever get a chance to read his script you’ll find a good read. In fact I really wish they went more with his then Daniel Waters.
That score and soundtrack, WOW!
Danny Elfman! Elfman created the greatest theme ever! Sure Superman has a good one, Star Wars is cool but Batman! Come on its amazing and why the hell did we not bring it back. Elfman created a score that just fits perfectly. It’s dark and beautiful. Yet it’s very strange and exciting. I want to feel this again in the theater and I hope we get this theme back, come on Zimmer DO IT! I double dare you! Now Prince created a period of time that will forever be playing in my ears. I listen to this soundtrack almost every week. The film gets watch almost every week too, yep I’m not joking. Happy or angry I will queue up that soundtrack and play the hell out of it.
Art direction is incredible. Something you will never see anywhere else. When I look at that set I think to myself this is a once in a lifetime experience. That suit is my favorite version ever to be done. Zack Snyder is coming close, still we haven’t seen it in color yet, but you can never go wrong with full black and that yellow belt and logo.
Happy 25th Birthday!
Oh and...
I'm Batman!
SR Podcast (Ep. 25): June 2014 - Batman 89 Movie Commentary
FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY
It's June and it's Podcast time! But this one is special. Today we celebrate the 25th Anniversary of 1989's classic, Batman. So we decided to try something new, join us today as we give you a SR Movie Commentary! Our first commentary and very possibly not our last commentary ;)
So queue up those VCR's...hmmm wait sorry....DVD's, Blu-rays and this Podcast and have a blast to the past with us. You can watch our YouTube video, listen to the Podcast or stream the commentary with the full film on dropbox!
Click here for the Dropbox Stream
Show Notes:
Wait did Julie Kill someone?!
Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Batman: The Video Game Composer(s) Naoki Kodaka, Nobuyuki Hara
Batman OST by Prince
Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, Pinterest and Grab the SR App
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Double-ovember: License To Kill
 |
| LACKLUSTER |
What is it about James Bond films that set them apart from
other action/adventure films? That
question could be debated for years.
Personally, I think they transcend the norm by adding an air of
mythos & magic. Creating a
universe where a governmental operative can exist alongside a metal toothed giant, a homicidal imp and a woman named Pussy. There are bigger stakes to deal with usually, or at least
bigger antagonists. License To
Kill forgets that formula and subjects us to a 007 film that just feels
false.
In License To Kill, James Bond goes rogue due to his quest
for vengeance. And though this is a
similar set up to films like Quantum Of Solace and…(GROAN)…Die Another Day, Craig
was at least battling a mysterious organization while Brosnan was tracking a Diamond
Faced baddy bent on global destruction.
Dalton is fighting a drug dealer named Franz Sanchez. That’s it. A LACKLUSTER adversary for the world’s greatest secret agent
to put it lightly. Even Kananga in
Live And Let Die was more interesting than Sanchez. With as many megalomaniac, eccentric, psychopaths Bond has
defeated before, a drug dealer who harmed his friend seems like a lame reason
to quit MI6. And seeing that the
friend is fellow government agent Felix Leiter, I don’t see how things could logically escalate to that. The
CIA and MI6 could eradicate this poor Scarface rip-off from the face of the
planet in less than two seconds. Now, I don’t want to reenact my Brave review and rewrite the entire
story. But, if they had a more
scary, untouchable threat and had Bond and Leiter teaming up to get him while
both on the run from their respective governments, that would be a film I’d
want to see. We don't really get that here. Leiter has been a
walking talking missed opportunity of a character for the entire franchise’s
run. You finally set him up with some semblance of a story, but then sideline him for a majority of the film. Even head henchman Dario's most interesting quality is that he's played by Benicio Del Toro. He sits out a majority of the film as well. These aren't big stakes or big antagonists.
The only character that positively stands out is Pam Bouvier, played by Carey Lowell. She is strong willed, able to handle herself, and serves a purpose to the story. She has very good chemistry with Dalton, and even though her character's affinity for Bond feels rushed, the payoff for their romance isn't. I can't say any of those things for her Bond girl co-star Talisa Soto. Lupa Lamora is easily my least favorite Bond girl of all time. She is just a put upon, abused, weakling of a character. Does Bond try and rescue her from Sanchez's clutches? No, not really. Does Bond try and rescue at all? No, not really. So, why does she love Bond? Um...because. Does she have a defining moment in the film? Lying to cover Bond's ass. Well, does she ever stand up to Sanchez and get revenge for his earlier beatings of her? If you don't count the lying then...um..HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!
License To Kill is one of the most LACKLUSTER Bond films ever made. It is a shame that this would be Dalton's final Bond. To go out on this note sullies all the great work he put in with the character. Sing along with Gladys...or even Patti...and if you watch it...and disagree...please tell me where the hell I'm wrong.
The only character that positively stands out is Pam Bouvier, played by Carey Lowell. She is strong willed, able to handle herself, and serves a purpose to the story. She has very good chemistry with Dalton, and even though her character's affinity for Bond feels rushed, the payoff for their romance isn't. I can't say any of those things for her Bond girl co-star Talisa Soto. Lupa Lamora is easily my least favorite Bond girl of all time. She is just a put upon, abused, weakling of a character. Does Bond try and rescue her from Sanchez's clutches? No, not really. Does Bond try and rescue at all? No, not really. So, why does she love Bond? Um...because. Does she have a defining moment in the film? Lying to cover Bond's ass. Well, does she ever stand up to Sanchez and get revenge for his earlier beatings of her? If you don't count the lying then...um..HEY, LOOK OVER THERE!
License To Kill is one of the most LACKLUSTER Bond films ever made. It is a shame that this would be Dalton's final Bond. To go out on this note sullies all the great work he put in with the character. Sing along with Gladys...or even Patti...and if you watch it...and disagree...please tell me where the hell I'm wrong.
Monday, October 22, 2012
31 Nights Of Halloween, Shocker
Shocker: Mess
The Idea is fun, The Content is weak
This is a review and also a questionnaire if anyone knows the answers to. I have so many question on this film. The first time I ever knew about this film was at the dollar store years ago. I had found the soundtrack there for just a dollar and thought it would be a cool film to watch. After listening to the disk I just had to watch this film, which brought up a ton of question. Never has a film left me with so many questions before.
"I eat this wimp's will power for breakfast, John-bo." Let me say first I know its a comedy-horror hybrid. It just doesn't work for me this time around. Peter Bergs acting is not the greatest, lets just say that. Mitch Pileggi is the only reason to watch this poorly made film. Wes Craven is a favorite of mine mostly do to, A Nightmare on Elm Street, a horror masterpiece (In my opinion). This film isn't even close to good let alone a masterpiece. Craven seems to wanna recreate that magic that was on Elm Street and as well as a new franchise. By trying to recreate, they created a film that so bloated it seems they tried every idea they could think of. It's almost 2hrs long and thats way too long for this film, just way too long. The idea is so stretched out it gives stretch armstrong a run for this money. That line there might of been bad, but its nowhere near the cheesy dialogue in this film.
The Idea is fun, The Content is weak
This is a review and also a questionnaire if anyone knows the answers to. I have so many question on this film. The first time I ever knew about this film was at the dollar store years ago. I had found the soundtrack there for just a dollar and thought it would be a cool film to watch. After listening to the disk I just had to watch this film, which brought up a ton of question. Never has a film left me with so many questions before.
"I eat this wimp's will power for breakfast, John-bo." Let me say first I know its a comedy-horror hybrid. It just doesn't work for me this time around. Peter Bergs acting is not the greatest, lets just say that. Mitch Pileggi is the only reason to watch this poorly made film. Wes Craven is a favorite of mine mostly do to, A Nightmare on Elm Street, a horror masterpiece (In my opinion). This film isn't even close to good let alone a masterpiece. Craven seems to wanna recreate that magic that was on Elm Street and as well as a new franchise. By trying to recreate, they created a film that so bloated it seems they tried every idea they could think of. It's almost 2hrs long and thats way too long for this film, just way too long. The idea is so stretched out it gives stretch armstrong a run for this money. That line there might of been bad, but its nowhere near the cheesy dialogue in this film.
Here is a film that knows its not suppose to be good (at least I think so) and goes with it. Only redeeming value is watching this with friends do to its stupidity, other then that is hard to watch by yourself.
The scene that sticks out for me, is the Park scene, in which we get a odd "gun shooting count".
This is how it goes...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11, 12
(Reloads)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
(Reloads)
Throws Gun
New Gun
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
"It's no good, Pinker; Alison told me the secret. Maybe you *were* my father, but you know who my father is now? You know who's responsible for me? Me; no one else."(Spoilers if you care ahead!)
"It smells like the goddamn electric chair in here."
So as I watch this film I asked myself, if Pinker is apparently Jonathan's father, then why is he trying to kill his own son? Because his son shot Pinker in the leg? Seems a bit much I think. Also why the hell is Jonathan so damn hard to kill? Because Jonathan doesn't seem so bright, I mean he does run in circles as Pinker tries to kill him. Oh and I don't think anyone will disagree on this one, but Jonathan's adapted father is a idiot. Why was he written so badly? He doesn't realize anything, even when Jonathan proves to him he knows things that can help catch Pinker, he keeps shooting down his adapted kid who knows things he shouldn't know.
How could he travel into bodys, because of the devil worshiping he did? Is that why he can't die? And how can Jonathan see into the future? I found it funny the cops have to read the miranda rights from a piece of paper, they don't know it by heart yet?
And why was finding one killer so difficult? Seriously they had a shitty group of police in that town.
Why? Why? Why?
Maybe I just don't remember, but I do believe they didn't explain this stuff. Hey possibly I had passed out or something because I've never had so many question after watching a movie.
Listen I usually don't care so much about stupid films like this, I really like stupid horror films for the comedy side of it but this film had too many questions on this one.
Like I said in the beginning watch it with friends or if you can't sleep one night pop it in.
This is how it goes...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10, 11, 12
(Reloads)
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
(Reloads)
Throws Gun
New Gun
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
"It's no good, Pinker; Alison told me the secret. Maybe you *were* my father, but you know who my father is now? You know who's responsible for me? Me; no one else."(Spoilers if you care ahead!)
Side notes: Nobody seems to care that there is a cop trying to kill a kid at this park. Also the children continue to play as gun shots ring out. And why does Jonathan seem to be running in a circle that whole time? Really lets just say, the whole direction of this film is a Mess. Doing this creates many plot-holes and makes the movie not a movie but a joke. The script needs a line of time to stay on its course, like a train on a track. The film seems to have its scenes written individually, thrown in a bag then picked out one by one for the film. This makes things tough to follow and allows the viewer to really not care. As you watch this film things just pop up for no reason, like Alison talking from the dead, did I miss something? And the damn necklace that Jonathan gives to her, apparently it has a bit magic, how? And didn't he get rid of the necklace 6ft under? How did it come back from being 6ft under?
So as I watch this film I asked myself, if Pinker is apparently Jonathan's father, then why is he trying to kill his own son? Because his son shot Pinker in the leg? Seems a bit much I think. Also why the hell is Jonathan so damn hard to kill? Because Jonathan doesn't seem so bright, I mean he does run in circles as Pinker tries to kill him. Oh and I don't think anyone will disagree on this one, but Jonathan's adapted father is a idiot. Why was he written so badly? He doesn't realize anything, even when Jonathan proves to him he knows things that can help catch Pinker, he keeps shooting down his adapted kid who knows things he shouldn't know.
How could he travel into bodys, because of the devil worshiping he did? Is that why he can't die? And how can Jonathan see into the future? I found it funny the cops have to read the miranda rights from a piece of paper, they don't know it by heart yet?
And why was finding one killer so difficult? Seriously they had a shitty group of police in that town.
Why? Why? Why?
Maybe I just don't remember, but I do believe they didn't explain this stuff. Hey possibly I had passed out or something because I've never had so many question after watching a movie.
Listen I usually don't care so much about stupid films like this, I really like stupid horror films for the comedy side of it but this film had too many questions on this one.
Like I said in the beginning watch it with friends or if you can't sleep one night pop it in.
Friday, July 27, 2012
Skin Deep
Skin Deep: Cockfighting
This film is simply about a womanizing writer with a drinking problem. His life is falling apart, he has writers block and is still in love with his ex-wife. He's trying to fix his problems but keeps seeing woman who he must have.
Overall its a great film. Some very funny scenes including a very well known cockfighting scene.
John Ritter's acting just steals every film he was in and this is one of them.
Watch this it's Funny, it has John Ritter, it's a underrated film and its a Blake Edwards film.
Overall its a great film. Some very funny scenes including a very well known cockfighting scene.
John Ritter's acting just steals every film he was in and this is one of them.
Watch this it's Funny, it has John Ritter, it's a underrated film and its a Blake Edwards film.
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