one word reviews of Movies and TV

Saturday, October 3, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule - 1986: The Fly

MELTY
The Fly - Melty

At it's core, "The Fly" is a love story that just happens to end tragically. In the vein of "Frankenstein" and any other mad scientist film you can think of, not only is "The Fly" memorable for it's strong acting and storytelling, it's probably most memorable for it's extreme gore and transformation scenes. To this day, I would still put up the SFX in this film as some of the best that have ever been done in horror/sci-fi.

Jeff Goldblum stars as Dr. Seth Brundle, a struggling scientist working out the kinks on his teleportation machine. By his side is a young Geena Davis who is smitten with Brundle, but is also involved with slimy magazine editor, Stathis Borans.

Brundle seems to be on the brink of something that would change science forever, but he forgot to close his windows and doors because one tiny little fly puts that cabash on that and Brundle slowly begins to turn into a half-man/half-fly hybrid with grotesque results.

In the sci-fi genre, I don't think you get something as perfect as this film. The acting is strong, for the genre, the effects are horrific and still shocking to this day, and at the end of the day, you feel bad and you have empathy for Brundle and his slowly departure from humanity into a creature. This is Goldblum's film to shine, and while he mainly plays in the background, without many major starring roles, the role of Brundlefly will live on forever in horror/sci-fi lore.

Of course this is a remake of "The Fly" from the 1950s, but aside from the fact that both films are about men turning into flies, most of the similarities stop there. David Cronenberg puts his own unique stamp on this remake that includes a broken arm, complete with bone sticking through the skin, maggot pregnancy, and of course my favorite, a melting foot and hand.

You like "The Fly" here are some other goodies from 1986:

Aliens
April Fool’s Day
Critters

Friday the 13th Pt 6
House
Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2

Friday, October 2, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule - 1985: Return of the Living Dead

WHIMSICAL
Return of the Living Dead: Whimsical

Moving along to 1985 I'm picking one of my horror guilty pleasures. While I'm a little "zombified" by zombies and the undead in general, one film really holds a special place in my heart, and while I do love the Romero Trilogy of Night, Dawn, and Dead, there is nothing like the fun and all out insanity of "Return of the Living Dead."

It's weird to talk about "Return of the Living Dead" when I could have easily picked "Dawn of the Dead" for 1985, but who really wants to hear about the message George Romero was trying to make about the evil of capitalism, that's all been done before. What I want to talk about are goofy government conspiracies, graveyard stripping, a mortician who might be a Nazi, and of course talking zombies.

"Return" is the tale of government foul-ups and cover-ups. When a toxin is release by two bumbling chemical warehouse workers it awakens the dead from a nearby cemetery which ruins the time of a group of punk rockers who are partying in said cemetery. That's pretty much all you need to know about this film, that, and it's tons of fun.

While "Night" and "Dawn" relied on practical horror and a message of social change, "Return" is the Id of those films. There is blood, boobs, and more blood. There is also the first concept and idea that zombies enjoy to not just munch on flesh, but also "brains." This plot point is revealed by a talking zombie.

There should be so many things that bother me about this film. One, the zombies talk. Two, the characters are goofy and whiny. And three, my cardinal sin, the zombies RUN. This, to my knowledge, is the first example of running zombies, but I'll give it a pass considering the goofy nature of this film.

 Here are some other oldies but goodies from '85:

Cat’s Eye
Day of the Dead
Fright Night
Friday the 13th Pt 5
Ghoulies
Lifeforce
Nightmare of Elm Street 2
Silver Bullet

Thursday, October 1, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule - 1984: Gremlins

GOOPY
Gremlins - Goopy

To kick off The Horror Time Capsule, I thought I would go with something that I remember seeing as a kid a lot, but not so much as an adult. It's funny how so many films in the 80s that were geared towards kids had so many non-kid friendly moments and themes. This brings me to "Gremlins" a kids film that could have only been made in the 80s.

In short, the plot of this film features an exotic pet brought home from Chinatown that has very specific rules that need to be followed in order to best care for the pet. That pet is Gizmo, and Gizmo is a Mogwai.

Now in small town America, and under the care of Billy Peltzer, who like any good pet owner, doesn't care for his pet correctly which leads to more Mogwais that don't have the same innocent temperament as Gizmo. More hijinks ensure that see the once fuzzy Mogwais transform into green and even meaner, Gremlins.

While I wouldn't consider this a "horror" film in the traditional sense, this was Joe Dante's biggest film to date. And while I consider "The Howling" his horror opus, "Gremlins" is by far his most memorable film, in my opinion of course.

The is murder, general monster hijinks, monsters exploding in microwaves, monsters melting into puddles of goop, and of course my favorite, a story about someone's dad dying in the chimney after pretending to be Santa Claus and breaking his neck. Noting quite says "Merry Christmas" like a dead dad story.

Here are some other 1984 favorites:

CHUD
Children of the Corn
Friday the 13th Part 4
A Nightmare on Elm Street
Silent Night, Deadly Night

Monday, September 28, 2015

The Horror Time Capsule!!!


Hey guys and gals, Matt here.

I know all of us in the blogging community like to get in the spirit of Halloween, and we also all like blog-a-thons, and to try something a little different out, I thought that I'd put this idea out there.

We are looking for contributors to help us with putting out 31 reviews in 31 days for the month of October. Instead of just writing 31 random reviews, we thought we would do a little time capsule. Starting in 1984 and ending in this year in horror, 2015.

Click see the link HERE to get an idea of what horror looked like from 1984-2015 and e-mail us at contact@simplisticreviews.net if you want to get involved. Let us know the film you'd like to write about (it doesn't have to be from the list, it can be any horror film from that year) and what date works for you and we'll let you know if that date is available.

To better cross-promote, grab the banner and stick it on your site.

Click Here to Download the Artwork

SR Podcast (Ep. 55): Hard Ticket To Hawaii - Movie Commentary: September 2015

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES


Today's Sunday Movie is...

Hard Ticket to Hawaii

96mins / Action / 1987

There are films that come and go. Great films that missed the limelight and never get the recognition they deserve.

Then there is Hard Ticket To Hawaii, a film that's not amazing but we are glad it was made. It's a crazy film that feels like they honestly just run and gun it. And even though this film isn't perfect, it is one fun film to watch.

Check out Slaughter Film's Review

Action Movie Time Machine - Hard Ticket to Hawaii

It's a film jam packed full of Bullets, Boobs and Explosions! 

What more can you ask for?





 Show Notes

Watch the film with us

Read the Slaughter Film Review


Music Notes

Theme Song



Sunday, September 20, 2015

Black Mass


UNEASY
Johnny Depp was never really on my radar of great actors until he put on the gold teeth and somewhat affected swagger of Captain Jack Sparrow.
Oh, I had seen him in films like Donnie Brasco and Ed Wood and Edward Scissorhands.  However, I never really appreciated him as my kind of actor until he disappeared into the role of Captain Jack.  A role that truly made him an icon.  Then Depp began to make choices, mostly prompted by his friend and frequent collaborator Tim Burton, that turned his unique ability to disappear into a role a bit of a criticized trope.  Odd because the more he did what we kind of wish all of our actors would do, disappear into a role, the more we criticized.  Whether that be Dark Shadows, Alice In Wonderland, Mortdecai, The Lone Ranger, or Into The Woods.  It has been a somewhat unfair appraisal of Depp because it is obvious in hindsight that those films as a whole are the main problem.  The common denominator of those films and criticized Depp performances are also that they are light hearted tales.  People who still championed Depp hoped for him to do what he does best in more serious films.  The totally unremarkable Transcendence was not light hearted, but the film seemed to neuter every bit of personality or nuance Depp has.  Depp's career seemed to be in critical limbo.  Fortunately for Depp, the film Black Mass has come along to not only break him out of that limbo but remind us how talented of an actor Depp is when put in the proper project.

Black Mass is the not-so-thorough true story of Boston gangster James "Whitey" Bulger and how his shady alliance with members of the FBI made him one of the most powerful criminals in the country.  If you have seen The Departed before going into this film, you will realize coming out how much director Martin Scorsese and actor Jack Nicholson borrowed from this infamous gangster's life.  Since the backstory of Nicholson's Frank Costello took kind of a backseat to Leonardo DiCaprio and Matt Damon's characters, I was delighted to hear that a film about the real Whitey Bulger was coming out and would hopefully fill in all those gaps.  Regrettably, As you can tell from the "not-so-thorough" descriptor in my opening sentence, Black Mass does not really flesh out Whitey as much as I or most would like.  Black Mass feels more like a collection of scattered moments, very well shot and well performed moments, that serve to drive the point home as to how scummy and terrifying Whitey Bulger was.  

What Black Mass lacks in specificity, it makes up for in its performances.  Johnny Depp certainly is the standout.  A performance that is worth the price of admission and worthy of Oscar consideration.  Thankfully, Depp is not alone.  Joel Edgerton, who is having a pretty good year with his earlier sleeper hit The Gift, matches Depp's seductively slimey performance with an entertainingly sad and humanized one of his own.  Where Matt Damon's character Colin Sullivan comes off as more a comically wormy character in The Departed, Edgerton's version of a corrupt and desperate law enforcement official under Bulger's thumb comes off as more real and relatable.  Benedict Cumberbatch, who plays Whitey's brother Billy, impressed me since I was a little wary of how he would fit into this film and how well his Boston accent would hold up.  Cumberbatch nails every scene he is in, which left me wanting more insight into him, given how compelling a story it is to be the legitimate brother to a illegitimate gangster.  But the big names aren't the only ones who shine.  Rory Cochrane, Corey Stoll, Kevin Bacon, Peter Sarsgaard, Juno Temple and even Dakota Johnson are compelling in their limited amount of time in the film.  

Whether it be Out Of The Furnace, Crazy Heart, or Black Mass, Scott Cooper seems to be making a career of helming films where the performances are stellar but the films themselves end up being only so-so.  It shows that as a director, Cooper knows how to get the best out of his actors, especially Johnny Depp.  He just needs a bit more polish and terms of telling a complete story in my opinion.  He knows how to create the tense and UNEASY atmosphere Black Mass needs.  I just hoped for a more indepth look at the man Depp creepily embodies.  Cook up your steaks, don't give away the family secret, don't put your wet fingers in the peanuts, don't tell Whitey Bulger that you're coming down with something, watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.   

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Self/less

Self/less: Satisfaction 
117 mins / Thriller / 2015


It’s a movie we’ve seen a hundred times before but despite that, I was honesty entertained.  The ending I thought was good, Reynolds was Reynolds and Ben Kingsley is always a joy to watch. There haven’t been any good films to watch lately on a day off so I wasn’t expecting much.

After viewing I didn't feel like my time was wasted but instead for 117 minutes I was entertained. One issue I had was with the company that transferred consciousness to a new body, run by Matthew Goode. For them being hidden from the outside is a big deal. Yet they do something very stupid that gets them caught and this creates a large plot hole.   

Plot Hole (Maybe Spoiler)



Even with this I enjoyed it. It’s not fantastic but it is entertaining. Oh and I really don't care for that title. Looks too much like Face/Off.









Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Unboxing/Review: Sony ECMCS3 Microphone

Today we check out the new microphone that I am now using for podcasting. A cheap but good old little microphone that sounds pretty damn good. For more about podcasting check out The Film Pasture Podcasting episode were we give out our closely guarded secrets and learn about others.

*This review isn't being paid for, just a personal one. But hey if you'd like to pay us too, we're down for that.

Links
Amazon Sony Microphone
USB External Stereo Sound Adapter for Windows and Mac 

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 54) September 2015

                                                          FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

Sharpen your pencils and grab your loose-leaf notebooks.  It's the "back to school" edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  On this episode, the boys tackle Jesse Spano's horrible drug problem, Patty Mayonnaise's slutty behavior, and Max Landis' ego.

Speaking of schooling, Matt and DJ also pay up on a debt and discuss the high school spy film Barely Lethal, starring Oscar nominees Hailee Steinfeld and Samuel L. Jackson...yes...nothing in that sentence was made up.

Bill Cosby, Jared, Kanye, Miley...all get a little ribbing on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes
Wes Craven
Jesse Spano freakout
Patti Mayonnaise
Tommy Wiseau & Fantastic 4

Music Notes
My Flows Is Tight By Lord Digga
Saved By The Bell Theme Song
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips
Game Of Thrones Remix
Cast Your Fate To The Wind By Vince Guaraldi

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