one word reviews of Movies and TV

Showing posts with label 2018. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2018. Show all posts

Friday, December 21, 2018

(Ep. 114): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2018

Happy Holidays to all, and to all a good podcast! The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back to jingle some bells and deck some halls with Simon Appleton from Moustache Movie News. We ask the expert in all things U.K. everything from Brexit, the metric system, and Meghan Markel...we also take a break to read some Christmas cards sent to Santa, much to the chagrin of our Jewish cohost Matthew Stewart. We also bring back one of our favorite games, Simplistic Titles, to see if Simon knows what movies are real and which ones come from the dark recesses of DJ Valentine's twisted mind. All that reindeer crap and more on a fa-la-la-la-loaded episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast


MUSIC
Deck The Halls By Album House
Hark The Herald Angels Sing By Album House
Jingle Bells By Album House
O Little Town Of Bethlehem By Album House
We Wish You An Indie Christmas By Aaron Tosti
Happy Christmas Deck The Halls By Be Still The Earth
8-Bit Blues By Fairlight
Move By OBOY


NOTES
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Audition
Aladdin First Look
Lindsey Lohan Beach Club

Friday, November 30, 2018

(Ep. 113): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: November 2018


Don't count your turkeys before they're clucked...that's a saying, right? The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for November comes right under the wire just in time to tell you what happened to Harry Potter, explore the career and voice of Kathleen Turner, discuss the filmography of Steven Seagal and create a brand new Pokemon. The boys test the limits of reality with the return of Believable Or Bullshit. Justin reveals which classic '70s show he'll be watching next on TV Roundup. And we flip Hollywood on its head with another edition of Simplistic Switcheroo. All that and more on the award-winning Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Hard To Kill
HPV Michael Douglas
Detective Pikachu
Michael J. Fox on Curb

MUSIC
Fast Times By Idols
Sun Traces By Isaac Joel
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Runaway Ghost By Travis Loafman



Monday, October 29, 2018

(Ep. 111): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October 2018

What could be more spooky then a Simplistic Reviews Spooktastic Podcast? Okay so you could just  turn on the news which is scary enough.

Today, we bring the Halloween to your ears on the 111th episode of... wait this episode is number 111? So I times 111 by 6... 666!!!, Oh my god Gregory Sestero its the mark of the beast! Damn that's perfect timing or we held off a movie commentary from being released to make a Halloween stupid joke. Nay...not us we aren't that cheesy.

So let's all indulge into some candy, laugh, drink and talk about news and some spooky thoughts we had recently as well make fun of those shitty Hollywood scumbags on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

 Boooo!










Wednesday, October 3, 2018

31 Films of Halloween: Hereditary


Hereditary isn’t a perfect film. There are slow paced moments that drag on way to long and cheap tricks used to scare you. But from beginning to the end I was entertained more then I thought I would be going into it. Highlight is the cast with a great audio design and mix.  

Monday, September 10, 2018

(Ep. 110): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September 2018


The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back from our August break and raring to go. And since we thought the show could use more of a fangirl touch, we got the biggest and best fangirl of them all, Jeanette Ward from The Mundane Adventures Of A Fangirl. And as gracious hosts, we immediately put Ms. Ward in the hot seat during another edition of Questions From The Crowd. The gang also go against their better nature while playing Say Anything. Shane Black, Cardi B Nicki Minaj Beef, and midichlorians...all things discussed on the latest episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES
Ray Liotta Commercial
Nicki Minaj & Cardi B Fight
Glass Noodles
Blockbuster Video 

MUSIC
60's Blues Rock Kinda Thing By Aaron Tosti
Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander
Fast Times Club By Idols

Wednesday, August 15, 2018

A Not So Simplistic Review: Blackkklansman


The simple answer; yes, "Blackkklanssman" is very very good. The more complicated thing about Spike Lee's latest is why in 2018, over 160 years after emancipation and over 75 years after World War II and The Holocaust, are we still as fractured as ever? Why are we dooming to repeat the same mistakes generation after generation and why are we choosing to elect politicians on the confidence of making things great again and essentially saying, "If It Ain't White, It Ain't Right." Why are we still at this point in America, or should I say, why did we try and decide to make some progress and immediately decide to go back to pre-Civil Rights America? I have no clue...

Probably his best outing since "Inside Man" Lee, with a little help from Jordan Peele, has crafted a film that is filled with humor, horror, tension, and necessary evil. No punches are pulled in "Blackkklansman" and while you'll be laughing one minute, you'll be scratching your head and on the verge of tears, filled with dread at the thought that only a year ago we witnessed the horror of Charlottesville, and I'm not just talking about white guys with bad haircuts equipped with tiki torches spouting off racist epitaphs, but just how little we've learned and how far we've sunk as a society. I'm white and Jewish, and sad about where we are right now. This is something we all have to FACE.

"Blackkklansman" is not only a film to watch, but also experience for expressing the current zeitgeist we are all going through. From "Do the Right Thing" to now, Spike Lee has created something timely, important, and horrific. FACE it, you need to watch this.

Tuesday, July 24, 2018

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

(Ep. 107): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: July 2018


 It's July, so that means it's time for a Summer blowout episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast. We broach many subjects including Star Wars' big problem, Robocop reboots, Chris Hardwick's troubles, and the Naked Gun. Yes...that assortment of subjects has never been collectively tackled before.

Also Justin is put on the hot seat for the new segment 'Questions From The Crowd.'

DJ and Justin go crazy with their love for the television show, '24.' And the boys try and figure out films by their last line in the new game, 'Simplistic Last Lines.' All that and more on this new episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
NOTES


MUSIC

Fast Times Club By Idols

Gold Medal By Sounds Like Sander

4. For Losing It By The Triads

Sunday, May 20, 2018

DJ Rambles About Revenge (2017)

INSUFFICIENT
Of all the subgenres in film, I'm kind of a sucker for a good revenge flick.  The Count Of Monte Cristo, Kill Bill, The Crow, Django Unchained, John Wick, Gladiator, The Outlaw Josey Wales.  They are all films that are the quickest to grab my attention in terms of understanding the needs of the character.  A tale of someone seeking justice without the hindrance of rules or morals.  One of the granddaddies of them all is the 1978 exploitation film, I Spit On Your Grave.  The film I'm reviewing here, Revenge, does not come close to the gory exploitiveness of an I Spit On Your Grave.  However, one can't help but feel that Revenge is a bit of an echo to what I Spit On Your Grave left, for better or worse.

The glitzy colors mixed with the minimalism of narrative makes Revenge feel like a Jonathan Glazer film (Sexy Beast, Under The Skin) by way of the late great Tony Scott (Literally every film in the '90s).  It actually comes to us from French director, Coralie Fargeat.  It tells the tale of a "party girl" named Jen who, while on vacation with her married boyfriend, suddenly finds herself attacked, left for dead, and miraculously saved allowing her to seek her vengeance.  And though it seems like I'm being vague to avoid spoilers, Revenge's plot doesn't get much more intricate than that.  Since we come directly into the middle of a pretty cliched situation between the characters and don't know or learn much about them, there really isn't much for me to cling to in terms of their goodness or badness.  This is a big part, for me at least, in getting the intended catharsis of any revenge film.

We know how good of a man and how despicable of a person Maximus and Commodus are respectively before the inciting incident and quest for revenge takes place in Gladiator.  Characters do nothing but talk about the character of John Wick and the reasons he got out and why it's really bad that he's coming in his film.  Same with William Munny in Unforgiven, or the Bride in Kill Bill, or John Creasy in Man On Fire, or Khan Noonien Singh in Wrath Of Khan.  Because we know so little about Jen her man and her man's friends, we are left to just focus on the incident and titular revenge, weakening the overall catharsis.  In short, you care less because you're given hardly anything to care about.  A stripped down revenge flick was likely Fargeat's intention, along with the idea of just having a normal victimized female brutally confronting her attackers. (A clear commentary on the social climate we are living in today with victims of physical and psychological abuse fearlessly fighting back against their abusers.) 

As I alluded to before, the visuals of the film are really well done, as well as the accompanying synthy score by Robin Coudert.  Fargeat has a great eye, a flair for symbolic imagery and a bright future ahead of her.  As far as debut feature film outings go, Revenge is not bad at all.  It just left me feeling unfulfilled near the end, making it an INSUFFICIENT tale of revenge, in my opinion.  Maybe I have to watch it again.  Maybe you have to watch it too...and then tell me I'm wrong.

Monday, May 14, 2018

DJ Rambles About Terminal

WASTE
What exactly...is Terminal?  No, no...that wasn't some highfalutin or artsy attempt to start this review.  I seriously don't know what this film is.  Is it an exercise in the limits of neon lighting cinematography?  Is it another neo-noir vehicle starring Margot Robbie that stumbles at the starting gate and never fully recovers? (I see you Suicide Squad) Is it a love letter to an era where Hollywood spit out movies like this seemingly every week, but comes closer to being a love letter written using cut out pieces of various periodicals, making the reader/viewer feel uncomfortable and frightened?  It is likely all of those things.  In short...though longer than our one word review...Terminal is a cavalcade of mistakes, wheel-spinning WASTES of time trying to masquerade as crafty foreshadowing, and performances given by actors I love that bounce around in tone and coherence like an annoying child's pink rubber ball.  What is this film?

Terminal stars the aforementioned Margot Robbie along with the great Simon Pegg, Mike Myers, and Guy Ritchie vet, Dexter Fletcher.  It is about a femme fatale named Annie, played by Robbie, as she manipulates several seedy characters into playing a dangerous game of sex, death, and double-crosses.  It comes to us from writer/director Vaughn Stein from...from...well...nothing really. (At best I could find was Third Assistant Director for World War Z.  Yeah, that's a thing.)  I'm doing my best to avoid spoiling a plot that, if you see Terminal, will likely frustrate you into wondering why I even bothered.

I remember after Pulp Fiction became a cultural phenomena in the mid '90s, copy cat films sprung up like wild fire trying to capture the same magic.  Terminal feels like one of those films.  Not Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead or Go type quality.  More like The Big Hit and 2 Days In The Valley type quality.  The overly written dialogue with segues that seem innocuous until later.  The twists that feel more confusing and convoluted than clever.  The hyper-stylized visuals used to distract from the lack of substance.  The overly heavy-handed symbolism regarding a previous work of fiction.  I'm sure the early twenties version of me might have had the DVD of Terminal in my dorm room and plopped it on after coming home from some drunken rager.  It might have even garnered a cult following like some of those films over the years due to nostalgic blinders.  However, the older me, the one that kinda sees the strings a little better, just watched Terminal with this apropos expression on my face:
To Terminal's credit, there is a literal side mission, in terms of the plot, that involves Simon Pegg's character that comes off as vaguely interesting.  If only it were the entire plot of the film.  If it were expanded to be all of Terminal, leaving aside the main cat and mouse hitman mystery, this might have been something.  But before you know it, the side mission ends and we are thrust back into a main plot that makes little to no sense and amasses little to no interest.

Margot Robbie has recently proven with I, Tonya that she brings more to the table than roles like this.  This is paint by numbers for her in this, with little to no meat for her to chew on that she hasn't devoured before in better stuff.  I appreciated that Mike Myers seemed to want to branch out of comedy and take some roles that showed off all of his talents.  This role is hardly it.  Simon Pegg is always charismatic and fun to watch.  However, despite an interesting story arc, I think Pegg is terribly miscast in this film even taking into account his chemistry with Robbie.  If he had, again, some more room to expand and grow this character, you might buy where his character goes...but he doesn't and you don't.  Dexter Fletcher and Max Irons (son of Jeremy inexplicably) are saddled with such disposable material, it's hard for me to remember anything about their characters other than they are British and have the lion share of the f-bombs.

Terminal is a WASTE.  A WASTE of talent, time, and effort to apparently tap into a type of filmmaking of the past that is best suited to staying in its era.  If you watch it, I'll bet it is going to be hard for you to tell me I'm wrong.


Friday, April 6, 2018

(Ep. 102): The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: April 2018

This isn't a joke...the boys are back on the airwaves with another edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast...or are they? You be the judge of whether you think they're back or not. I might be telling you here that they are back, but are they truly "back." And if they're back, where are they back from? The Future, School, Training, To Back, In Black, Rubs, In The Habit, For The First Time, again, it's up to you to decide...

This month, the shenanigans range to these nincompoops yelling about whether Spielberg or Scorsese did it better, and by IT they mean holding the camera and making millionaires do things on camera, to the merits of Justin actually discovering he's North African and how we can us that to our advantage.

There is also the return of Simplistic Switcharoo where the fellas tackle the big questions of whether Nicolas Cage could be replaced by John Malkovich in Face/Off and after a long a sordid history, Matt might finally come to terms with the concept of Anne Hathaway.

All this, and of course your monthly dose of dick and fart jokes, on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, if you SMELL.....what THE CROCK.....is cookin'!!



 

 NOTES
Anne 'Cat'haway
ASMR Porn
Nic Cage and Peaches
Macho Madness
Diplomatic Immunity

MUSIC
Neon Love by Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison and Tim Reilly
Hit the Jackpot by David James
80s Killed The Radio Star by Bobby Cole

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Saturday, March 3, 2018

Movie Review: Annihilation


What do extra terrestrials have in store when they finally come to Earth to check the place out, enslave us and take over for us since we've done such a great job. That's a question that's been asked in books, radio theater, video games and films for over a century. Whether they are benevolent visitors like "E.T.", curious visitors from "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," or killing machines on the hunt in "Predator," the idea of aliens and and their relationship with Earth has been an interesting one to say the least.

Our latest odyssey into extra terrestrials and their fascination with the Earth comes in the form of "Annihilation" directed by Alex Garland, who brought us our impending nightmare we'll face with Artificial Intelligence in "Ex Machina."

Based on the "Southern Reach" trilogy of books by Jeff VanderMeer from 2014, in which a meteor lands and the land surrounding begins to re-claim itself and continues to expand. "Annihilation" is based on the first book in the series where a squad of tough women enter what is called Area X to explore and find the reason for the expansion of what is called "The Shimmer."

What works for "Annihilation" is that it never holds your hand or tells you what is happening. You also have some very strong performances for the entire cast which includes Natalie Portman, Gina Rodriguez, Tessa Thompson and Jennifer Jason Leigh, all of which comprise most of the squad who enter "The Shimmer" for answers on why previous expeditions have disappeared to never return with the exception of one person, played by Oscar Isaac.

The female leads all come from different background, yet share a commonality; they are flawed in either a physical or psychological way, which eventually leads to their breakdown and eventually succumbing to "The Shimmer" There are a lot of blink and you miss it moments which gives you a reason to watch this film over and over to pick up the subtle nuances that Garland throws in.

Where "Annihilation" might lose some people is once again, the same way it will bring people in. Garland isn't interested in spelling things out for the audience. None of the characters are painted as either protagonists or antagonists, they are all searching for meaning, just like us, the audience.

"Annihilation" can be read into as much or as little as you feel necessary. Is it a standard sci-fi film where aliens are taking over slowly? Sure. Is it a film about becoming one with nature again, becoming self-less, and giving yourself up to something that might be bigger than you? Sure. There are so many ways to read this film, and that's what makes it great, and where it leaves the audience come the end opens up more conversation for, hopefully, the next two films to complete the trilogy.

While I love the bright shiny colors and psychedelic trip Garland took me on, I especially love the attention world he creates and the conflicts it creates within the characters. It reminds me of what I love about "The Thing," Sure, the creature effects are great, but give me conflict and something with stakes.

As far as I'm concerned, Garland is two-for-two in the directors chair and if this trilogy is allowed to be seen through, I could see it as some of the most epic science fiction in the last 20 years or so. So please don't judge "Annihilation" yet as it's still incomplete week as far as I'm concerned.

Saturday, February 17, 2018

(Ep. 100): The One Hundredth Simplistic Reviews Podcast: February 2018



It’s here!
  No, not your tax return…
No, not another government shutdown…
No, not an actual picture of Venom…

It’s the 100th episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast!  We got a guest list so prestigious and respected, it should run for president…please…someone…anyone…run for president.  So if you’re going on a short drive on a long road or a long walk off a short pier, stick this in your ear holes and enjoy the bad comedy styling of Matthew Stewart, DJ Valentine, and Justin Polizzi for the 100th time…and then…for the love of God…run for president.




MUSIC
Triumph March By Verdi
Neon Love By Jeff Dale, Gavin Harrison & Tim Reilly
Dark City Beats By John 00 Fleming
Utopia In Peril By Chillout
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips





















Sunday, January 14, 2018

(Ep. 98): SR Podcast - January 2018

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

The boys at Simplistic Reviews are back for a brand new year of hijinks, hilarity, intrigue, and murder...well maybe not that last one.  On the January edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the gang not only tries to unravel the mystery of January Jones' secret baby daddy, they also discuss Star Wars, Star Trek, The Crown, The Wire, and the 1991 Macaulay Culkin animated series Wish Kid...yeah...we're still a pretty weird show.  The boys also reveal some secrets they're not too proud of in the segment Simply Ashamed.  All that, an office search, a porno movie experience and more on a brand new edition of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast

NOTES
X-Factor
Wish Kid
January Jones Kid Mystery
The Wire's Best Scene
Billy Joel Accident


MUSIC
Sexy By Ben Sound
Ying And Yang By John 00 Fleming
The Croft By Joakim Karud

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