(Ep. 84) SR Podcast - April 2017

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

 April Fools...this isn't really a podcast post....... so here's a picture of a Ryan Gosling eating cereal.

.....just kidding....maybe...but i mean just look at that sexy guy eating that cereal.

This month we make our grand return with all sorts of goodies. The fellas belly up to the bar to talk the news and their life failures in "What's On Tap."

We're also in the fighting mood this month and the only way to settle that is another round of "Simplistic Fisticuffs."

All this, mail order bride talk, trying to remember what the Street Sharks ever did for us, cross-dressing, and all shorts of April shenanigans on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

The Bear in The Edge

Street Sharks Opening

Lee Tamahori's Fun Time

Belloq is Pimpin'

Batgirl Movie

Iron Fisting

MUSIC

Tears in the Rain by Vangelis

End Titles by Vangelis

The Hell Raisers by Syd Dale
Cocaine Model By ZHU

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(Ep. 83): SR Podcast - February 2017

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES

It's been a long time, we shouldn't have left you, without a podcast to step to....step to, step to...you get it; it's like that Aaliyah song.

We gave you a movie commentary to quench that junkie's thirst for our imminent return, but nothing can prepare you for this month's podcast that is sure to give you heart palpitations.

From the sultry tones of Al Pacino as he talks nipple clamps and spankings...to us wagering our souls, dignity and enthusiasm on 2017 films...and of course we have a game for you, because we love you so very much.

We return with "Hey Fuckhead," where we tear apart those in Hollywood that really piss...us...off, here's a hint; he's a world leader who probably has a tiny wiener...take that as you may.

Just in time for Valentine's Day, the newest Simplistic Reviews podcast. Body harnesses and ball gags not included.

NOTES
World War Z
Jimmy Fallon & Alec Baldwin
Green Lantern Shortlist

MUSIC

Cocaine Model By ZHU

By The Croft By Joakim Karud

What Time Is It By General Crook

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 31) October 2014

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

As fall descends across the land, the Simplistic Reviews Podcast is the funk of 40,000 years. In this month's edition, the boys spring forward and fall back to poking fun at Shia LeBeouf's childhood proclivities, Urban Dictionary's more interesting entries, and Jeremy Renner's lackadaisical attitude toward his career. All while still having time to pay a little John Singleton penance.

As you might remember, Justin and Matt were unlucky enough to lose a game of Simply Quotable a couple of month's back and had to watch the 2001 hood classic, Baby Boy. To make a long story short, there is dick sniffing, Snoop Dogg shooting, and men-inside-giant-wombs talk.

The boys also tackle the news Bob Barker style in a new segment called Simplistic Showcase. There is big money, big prizes, and a variety of obscenities.

All of this, plus our take on Fox's Gotham, how Boardwalk Empire is doing so far, and soooooooo much more, on this month's Simplistic Reviews Podcast for October.


Show Notes:
Blumpkin
Tetris Movie
Charlie Countryman
Baby Boy got the sniffles
Inherent Vice
DJ's Hidden Princess Bride Reference
Matt's Hidden Big Lebowski Reference
Slaughter Film Action Movie Time Machine

Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
Game of Thrones Theme Remix
White Lines By Grandmaster Flash and Melle Mel
My Flows is Tight By Lord Digga
Pure Imagination By Gene Wilder

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 29) September 2014

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY

The boys are back, and ready to slap you, your momma, and your whole family in the face, literally.  I mean you've heard the things they say, having your family slapped would be the least of your worries.

This month the boys have a rapid fire edition of talk in the new segment "Can You Dig It?" And they fantasize about what might be in the pockets of film characters in the newest game "Get Your Hand Out Of My Pocket."

Plus, since The Simplistic Reviews is world renown, the guys get visited by Kevin Feige, Guillermo del Toro and the incomparable Al Pacino.  No, really.  Well...not really.  But kinda really.  That, Jessica Chastain hate, concern for Hayden Panettiere and what Keith David pulls out for air in this month's Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:
Keith David not pulling it out for air

Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Malcolm X

Can You Dig It!?

Preggo Hayden

Pacino in a Marvel Movie?

Matthew Nable as Ra's al Ghul

FF4 Pics?

Slaughter Film Action Movie Time Machine

Music Notes:
Birds & Brass By Sort Of Soul
Lawyers, Guns, And Money By Warren Zevon
Sweet Georgia Brown By Brother Bones
Can You Dig It By IllMind
Plain Jane By Sid Phillips

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Simplistic Reviews Oscar Preview Podcast Trailer

Julie tries to fill in for ScarJo in the Spike Jonze Film Her.  Yeah...it's as bad as it sounds. 

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: October Edition

 The boys are back with another hard-hitting, face-melting, knee-slapping, balls-to-the-wall edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.  October draws to a close with Halloween on their minds as they breakdown the best Horror Monsters/Villains/Demons of all-time.

The boys also vent their anger in another round of "Hey F%*khead" and no one is safe.  Everyone from Julliane Hough to Michael Bay are ripped limb from limb for their stupidity and overall douchebaggery.

Add in some TV talk, Casper the Friendly Rapist, and a barn-full of shenanigans and you got a podcast worth downloading and listening to while you're running on the elliptical machine.  Enjoy!

Show Notes:

Julianne Hough in Blackface
Chris Brown Still Beating People
History of Halloween
Scariest Horror Villains

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: September Edition

Yay!  The rest of the months for the rest of the year end with -ber!  You can tell we are easily excited over on Simplistic Reviews, especially this month of September.

As we reach the final quarter of 2013, and our one-year anniversary of podcasting to the Interwebs, we go all out this month, well, not really, but we have to do something to get you guys excited.

In this September edition of the Simplistic Reviews podcast we talk tons of Fall TV, the final episodes of "Breaking Bad," just how bad the remake of "Robocop" will be, the return of Simply Quotable, and our favorite sports films of all time.

All this, including a surprise cameo by Al Pacino as he gets all hot and bothered about the classic Amanda Bynes' TV show "What I Like About You."  Who-Ahhhhh!!!!

Check out the show notes below for more fun stuff, and coming this week, The Simplistic Reviews List of things that we've learned from "Breaking Bad."

Show Notes:

Robocop Remake
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall TV Schedule
Breaking Bad Theories

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: August Edition

Hello boils and ghouls.  Okay, this isn't the Cryptkeeper, and it's nearly three months away from Halloween, but I couldn't help myself.  But what I can offer you is The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for the month of August (and some of June and July, we had a lot to catch up on in this edition).

After an extended hiatus the boys are back (of course this is Matt speaking in the 3rd person) and maybe not better then ever, but at least their adequate.  This month they jump into the "Ben Affleck as Batman" debate head first, share their shame in everyone's favorite segment, "Simply Ashamed," talk some "Breaking Bad," celebrate the filmography of Sinbad, and campaign for the best film coming this Fall.

Be sure to check the show notes below for more fun and hijinks.

Show Notes:

What Makes Breaking Bad so good?
SlaughterFilm
Cinema and Suds
Fall Movie Preview

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: One Year Anniversary Extravaganza

It's hard to believe that Simplistic Reviews has been around for one year.  You would have thought that the FCC, Michael Bay, or some other Hollywood douchebag would have called in a favor and had the three of us involved in an unfortunate electrical or chemical accident.  I guess they feared that if that happened we would genetically mutate and plan to conquer the world, or in the least just keep doing podcasts since their plans failed.  Well, we're not genetically mutating anytime soon, but we are going to continue rocking the Interwebs with our colorful dialogue and point-of-views

On a serious note, we would like to thank everyone who reads our reviews, leaves comments, likes our Facebook page, re-tweets our tweets, and/or listens to our podcasts.  As Simplistic Reviews enters our sophomore year we'll continue to either tear movies apart or heap unlimited amounts of praise upon them.

In this special podcast we look back at the first two films reviewed on the site, "Lethal Weapon" and "Die Hard" arguably the two best action movies of the 80's, if not, ever.  And since we like games so much, we introduce the newest Simplistic Reviews game, "Martin Or McClane" where we decide who has the best 80's hair, John McClane or Martin Riggs.  So sit back, relax, and enjoy this anniversary edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

Show Notes:

Lethal Weapon Review
Die Hard Review
Zack and Miri Make A Porno Review 

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: A Little More Conversation

If you've been following our podcast since it's inception, you know we like to rant, rave, and go on intense tangents.  Well this month we decided to take an entire unaired section of our May Podcast and turn it into a bonus edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

In this little nugget of joy we take on Iron Man 3, Star Trek Into Darkness and you get to hear Matt sink lower and lower into drunkenness.  It's really a thing of beauty......and sadness.  On top of that we also delve into Peter Weller's filmography and imagine if Robocop decided to police Hogwarts.

Show Notes:

Iron Man 3
Star Trek Into Darkness
Effects of Alcohol on Speech
Peter Weller

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: May Edition

May.....June....who cares?  It's another Simplistic Reviews Podcast posting in June, but they're talking about things in May.  Yeah, that's just how these clowns roll.

From Philip Seymour Hoffman's smack habit to the benefits of drinking whiskey during a podcast (thanks Matt), we got you covered.  Oh, and why HPV saved Michael Douglas' life.

The guys also unleash their newest segment "Hey Fu*khead" where they unload on people and things that are ruining the world and the sad lives of DJ, Justin, and Matt.

And for you TV-heads, our hosts take a look at the upcoming Fall TV schedule and break down what to see, what to watch with caution, and what to avoid like the plague.

Also, if you get tired of our site reading reviews, head over to SlaughterFilm.com, click on the link on their page, and get re-directed back to our site.  Counter-productive? I think not, because Cory and Forest are doing the Devil's work over on SlaughterFilm.

*Correction to podcast:  Alan Silvestri did not score the Friday the 13th films, it was actually Harry Manfredini.

Show Notes:

Hoffman's Habit
The Rains of Castamere
Best of Fall TV 2013
Deep Throating for HPV

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast : March 2013

You might ask yourself, "Hey Simplistic Reviews!  It's April, this isn't the March Podcast."  Well, yeah, you're right......that's all I got.  You got us listening public, this is the March Simplistic Reviews Podcast, posted in April.

We discuss everything from chocolate Easter bunnies to Peeps and even fit in some time to worship the Season Three Premiere of "Game of Thrones."

And while it seems like we have no shame (have you listened to any of our previous podcasts) we actually do, as we introduce a new segment, "Simply Ashamed" where we talk about crying, bestiality, and illegally recording "Ghost Rider," but not necessarily in that order.

So gather around the old iPod, or your Zune, bring grandma and enjoy the fun of The Simplistic Reviews March Podcast.


Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

Show Notes

Sexy Cartoon Babes
Game of Thrones Love
Understanding Shame

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast Late Edition: February 2013

Like the old cliche; "better late than never" The Simplistic Reviews Podcast is back, and we're just as cliched as we were back in January.

In this February edition we wax poetic on the failings of non-Marvel Studios films, pass judgement on Bruce Willis' latest John McClane adventure, "A Good Day To Die Hard," and rip Seth MacFarlane a new one.

Plus, this time Matt is in the hot seat with another edition of "Word Association."  From Harrison Ford to breast milk, nothing is off limits to Matt's rage, while Justin and DJ have their feelings hurt by our cybernetic robo-babe, Julie.

All this and much more in our "late" February podcast, right here on Simplistic Reviews.

Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

Show Notes

Boycotting Non-Marvel Comic Films
A "Good" Day to "Die Hard"
Why Seth MacFarlane Sucks

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

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The Simplistic Reviews Podcast: December 2012

You've all been clamoring for it, well here it is.  The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for December 2012!  In this sophomore edition we dig into the holiday season with what made us happy in the cinema during 2012.  From "The Dark Knight Rises" to the re-release of "Pulp Fiction" we touch it all, and not in that inappropriate way....okay, just over the pants, but give us a break.

We also give AMC, Nerds, "The Vow", and British -Voiced Nazis a hard time in our newest segment, "Sincerely."

All this and more on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast for December 2012.

Click on the link below to download the podcast and enjoy folks!

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY.

 

Show Notes:

 Click HERE to listen to podcast

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Happy Holidays: Word Association 2nd Edition

In this excerpt from the inaugural episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast, Justin Polizzi volunteers to play Word Association.  Find out how he does.

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Simplistic Reviews Presents: Music Matters

Does the music you hear along with the film trailers you watch really effect your opinion of them? They boys at Simplistic Reviews put that question to the test in a new segment for the upcoming podcast called Music Matters.

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