The Best of Armond White: (A Retrospective) Part One

Who doesn't like a great troll? Well, I guess the people being trolled, and in a day and age of knee-jerk reactions and people triggered at the slightest comment made against something that they love and hold dear, it's both an art and game to keep trolling at a high level.

Me, of course, can care less. I've always said "don't feed the trolls" and I'm usually someone that jumps into the fray to try and burn the bridge where that troll is hiding, or I just knock on their mom's door, head down to their basement and unplug their Ethernet cable while they try to run after me, but they can't get out of their chair because their legs have atrophied and all the Sun Chips crumbs are weighing them down.

But one "troll" stands alone when it comes to Film Twitter and just film in general, and that master troll is Armond White.

Personally, I think White is hilarious, he knows how to get under people's skin and create a conversation, and his points, even though most of them are ridiculous, are at times interesting and break up the constant love of things. He's The Joker of Film Reviews, he wants to see the world burn.

This got me thinking. Why don't we take a look back at some of his reviews in a Four-Part series. The basic premise of this series will be to look at his more infamous reviews where he either reviles a beloved film, praises a film that was universally hated on, and in those special moments in time, a film that was loved by White and the rest of the community and hated by White and the Community. Keep in mind, this series will be based on the Tomato-Meter and his reviews on RottenTomatoes.com 

In Part One, let's take a look at some of Mr. White's take on some of cinema's most beloved films.


Up (2009) 98% Approval on RT 

Armond Says: All this deflated cinema and Pixarism mischaracterizes what good animation can be (as in Coraline, Monster House, Chicken Little, Teacher's Pet, The Iron Giant). Up's aesthetic failure stems from its emotional letdown.


Matt Says: I understand his point when it comes to alt-animation that isn't Pixar, which can also pack an emotional punch. But there isn't much wrong with "Up."



Gone Baby Gone 94% Approval on RT

Armond Says: So far this year, no other movie has more risible dialogue.

Matt Says: Maybe he's referring to the accents, because yes, people from Boston do talk funny. Maybe I need to revisit this one because he might have a point on this one.





The Wrestler (2008) 98% Approval on RT

Armond Says: Aronofsky inflicts as much pain on the audience as self-flagellating Ram Jam does when brutalizing/mutilating himself in and outside the ring.

Matt Says: As a wresting fan, especially throughout the 1990s, maybe White just doesn't understand life inside and outside of the wrestling ring. I mean, I don't either, but I can see how well acted and great this film is, and yes, seeing he pain of Ram Jam is important to the story, and necessary.



In the Loop (2009) 94% Approval on RT

Armond Says: Instead of inspiring geniuses, Iraq war backlash has only resulted in snarky self-righteousness that -- from Charlie Wilson's War and now British import In the Loop -- has demonstrated the low ebb of modern comedy.

Matt Says: I'm sure my cohort, DJ, would have reservations about this opinion, and to a degree I do as well. The banter is genius, and Peter Capaldi's linguistic gymnastics are great. However, I do agree with using the Iraq War as comedy can be grating and just overall dull. 




Get Out 99% Approval on RT

Armond Says: Get Out is an attenuated comedy sketch in which serious concerns are debased.

Matt Says: While I can agree that this film could be suited for an actual sketch on "Key and Peele," that doesn't take away that "Get Out" works on a lot of levels and rightfully makes it awkward for white people. Could you call it divisive and perpetuate the paranoia that African Americans have for white people? Absolutely, but someone had to do it.



Moonlight 98% Approval on RT

Armond Says: Moonlight's best moments come in Little's reaction to Juan's affection, but later scenes of Chiron's erotic confusion and Black's maudlin self-pity (he wears muscular drag yet succumbs to weakness) insist that viewers feel sorry for black gay males.

Matt Says: I'm pretty sure the point to "Moonlight" wasn't to make people feel sorry for black gay males, it was to raise awareness that these people exists, and they are in fact...people. Sure, I feel like the third act of the film might be it's "weakest" I'm not seeing the correlation that viewers are supposed to be bad for Chiron, they are supposed to understand that other people exist in this world and to be uncomfortable getting out of their safe little bubble and small-mindedness.



The Dark Knight (2008) 94% Approval on RT

Armond Says: The generation of consumers who swallow this pessimistic sentiment can't see past the product to its debased morality. Instead, their excitement about The Dark Knight's dread (that teenage thrall with subversion) inspires their fealty to product.

Matt Says: My response; It's a comic book movie, relax sir.


Come back next week folks, and we'll try and get an understanding of why Dirty Grandpa deserves to be higher than it's 11% RT Score.