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| DOUBLE BLAND |
All aboard! Keep all hands and feet
inside the time machine at all times. This week we embark on a journey thru
time to pay visit to several films that will leave you questioning your very
eyeballs. In a series I’m calling “Double Vision”, we will be covering action
films featuring twins. Or actors playing twins anyhow.
The year is 1991. Jerry Springer
began conducting paternity tests on midget clansmen. The Terminator got a
sequel. Vanilla Ice writes an award winning "Ninja Rap" and Sonic the
Hedgehog began running all over the damn place. All this and Jean Claude Van
Damme played vengeful brothers in “Double Impact“.
THE SKINNY
Young Chad, Jean-Claude Van Damme,
has grown up the ward of his uncle Frank, Geoffery Lewis, who owns and
operates a fitness club in Los Angeles. One part for aerobics and another for
karate. Working in the fitness club with his uncle, in both aerobics and
karate, has afforded Chad all the benefits of each. Ass whoopin’ kicks and top
notch split flexibility.
One day, after receiving some
important info from a contact in China, Frank sits Chad down and informs him
that Frank isn’t his uncle at all. Frank worked as a bodyguard for Chad’s
father when he was just an infant. During this time Chad’s father designed and
build a tunnel that connected Hong Kong with the mainland of China. His
business partner Nigel Griffith and secret underworld financier Raymond Zhang
put out a hit on Chad’s parents. With them out of the way Griffith and Zhang
would inherit the tunnel. Why? Don’t ask me.
Frank shows up moments too late and
narrowly escapes with Chad as the hitmen fire at him. The head hitman and
underling of Zhang is a man named Moon, played by Bolo Yeung. This makes
the second time JVCD and Bolo Yeung squared off against one another.
But that’s not all! It turns out
that Chad has a twin brother names Alex who was raised in and still lives in
Hong Kong. It’s now Frank’s idea to take Chad to Hong Kong, meet Alex, lead the
brothers in a war against Griffith and Zhang and take control of their
birthright -- the tunnel.
Once Frank and Chad reach Hong Kong
they meet Alex who is less interested in what Frank has to say. He understand
how difficult it will be to take out Zhang with all of his hired guns and crime
resources.
While they are getting to know each
other and forming a plan, days pass and the film turns into a combination of a “fish
out of water” comedy with Chad in Hong Kong eating exotic food and what
not, and an “odd couple” drama with Chad trying to win over his long
lost brother. This is no easy task. Alex grew up on the streets and has
resorted to less than legal business means to get by. He’s one tough cookie.
But forget all that. The brother
make their presence known. First they stealthily break into one of Zhang’s
cocaine manufacturing facilities and blow it sky high. Lol, it’s always cocaine
isn’t it?! Then the brothers make an assassination attempt during a meeting
between Griffith and Zhang at one of Zhang’s nightclubs. Alex and Chad,
pretending to be the same person, bring several cased of “Cognac” to the party
per Zhang’s request. But these aren’t your beverage bottles of the French
tonic. They’re bombs!
Griffith and Zhang catch wind of
what’s going on and escape the explosions, but not before they learn about the
twins. Now knowing who was behind the drug bombing, Zhang’s forces track the
twins and devise a plan to lure the brothers in so Zhang’s top enforcers can
rub ‘em out. How will they do this? By kidnapping Frank and Alex’s love
interest Danielle.
Alex and Chad follow to a docked
cargo freighter. As Griffith gets his kicks by torturing Frank, the brothers
slowly make their way to the engine room where their loved ones are being held.
But before the final boss battle, each brother must defeat Zhang’s enforcers.
Chad fights and electrocutes Moon, while Alex takes on Kara, Corinna “Cory”
Everson, a She-Hulk muscle woman.
The end of the film parallels the
fights with the enforcers, as the twins each separately hunt down the
conspirators. Alex beats Zhang before dropping him to his death from the top of
a crane. Chad manages to misdirect Griffith long enough to get the drop on him,
and by that I mean Chad drops a cargo container onto him. The End.
THE VERDICT
Here is the part where I say whether
or not “Double Impact” is a good movie or not. Well this won’t take long. It
isn’t bad, but I can’t say that it’s good either. It’s a competently made film
with decent special effects, fights and acting. However it isn’t the most
original action movie I’ve ever seen. The same could be said about most late
80s and early 90s action movies, but bare with me.
“Double Impact” is about twin sons
who grow up and avenge their parents death. Whether it’s avenging a murdered
father, or mother, or brother or wife, that concept is in plenty of action
movies. The question becomes “How does Double Impact take that idea and expand
upon it?”. Well… there are twins…
Yeah that doesn’t do a lot for me
either. More than anything it’s down right strange watching two JCVDs walk around talking about
wearing silk underwear. The film even has to stretch to explain why both
brothers happen to have the same accent even though they grew up on opposite
ends of the world. Alex was dropped off at a Chinese monastery run by French
nuns, while Frank had sent Chad to a reform school in France. I guess if you
are born in Belgium that means you’re French to the rest of the world. It
amazes me how often films feel the need to explain why JVCD has an accent.
Action movie fans don’t really care, and if JVCD disserves an explanation than
why not Arnold? Why not Stallone?
There is one last thing I want to
point out. The tunnel is the birthright of Alex and Chad. What a strange thing
to fight over. I mean, I guess you could put up a toll and make yourself some
money. But honestly, who gives a shit about a tunnel?
When all is said and done “Double
Impact” isn’t bad, but it’s also rather forgettable. I would only recommend it
to die-hard fans of Van Damme. Otherwise you can pass this one over.
I’m Cory Carr and this concludes our
ride on the “Action Movie Time Machine”. Things are only going to get better…
or strange from here, so until next time, Semper Fi!
For more from Cory, check out his
website slaughterfilm.com, where he and his good friend
Forest Taylor record weekly podcasts, reviewing the films that are legendary,
even in Hell!
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