one word reviews of Movies and TV

Friday, October 7, 2016

Millennial Horror - 2001: Thir13en Ghosts

THERE
Thir13en Ghosts -There

Getting into the 2016 Halloween spirit, we are going to pick up right where we left off in 2015. In case you missed it, "Scream 3" was our last attempt and to keep the good times rolling let's revisit another lackluster horror attempt from the early 2000s, namely 2001, with "Thir13en Ghosts" a remake of William Castle's 1960 classic "13 Ghosts."

To be honest, this isn't a bad film. It's got some great set pieces, I love the ghost designs, and the stories behind them, but just like most Dark Castle-produced, there always seems to be something missing. Maybe it's the lack of scares, the over, or poor, acting, or maybe even the inclusion of dated pop culture zeitgeist, ie, Marilyn Manson's "Sweet Dreams' in "The House on Haunted Hill" and using rappers as actors (stay tuned for a review from a film for 2002 coming soon). I guess at the end of the day, you have to take the good with the bad.

The gist of "Ghosts" is that there is this guy trying to collect ghosts in order to powerful machine that would essentially make him a god. He is only missing the Thirteenth Ghost in order to finally bring the machine to full power. A pretty straight forward plot that is at times style-over-substance, but just like many Dark Castle-produced fare, the films are dumb and fun.

The ghosts in the film are interesting, each with their own little mythology and the makeup effects are really quite impressive. With so much emphasis on digital effects in modern horror, it's great to see actual, live people in costumes, it really is a lost art.

The acting is pretty hokey and just plain bad, but again, you take the good with the bad and it doesn't take you out of the film too badly, but yeah, when it's bad, it's bad.

Overall, "Ghosts" is a fun little remake with some nice production design, but plenty of flaws, but that doesn't mean it's unwatchable, besides maybe Rah Digga's acting, you won't be spitting bars, you might just spit up.

Ep. 75: Beware! Children at Play - Movie Commentary: October 2016

Welcome to another Friday Night Family Movie Night!

 Beware! Children at Play

1hr 34mins | Horror | 1989


Well that happened...

DJ and Justin just watched Beware Children at Play. And...Well...It's not so great. It is a slow boring movie that only picks up right at the end. Sure the topic of murdering demoniac crazy children is a fun idea to use in a movie but if you don't do anything with it then its pretty lousy. Hopefully the movie next time is a bit more enjoyable to watch, because even though this trailer looked amazing, the final product was just lame.







:)









Monday, September 12, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 74) September 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


This month's show is themed around the genius of the late and great Gene Wilder. As we honor his legacy, we create our very own film monstrosities with a new segment called, "Frankenstein's Monster." Think soap in pillow cases and jackets with scorpions on the back...

We also "blaze" our own saddles and whip out some news in "Excuse Me While I Whip This Out." All this, and antics galore on The Simplistic Reviews Podcast.

NOTES

MUSIC


Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest

Monday, September 5, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: August 2016

Oh hai August....another month, another 3 Simplistic Things to go over in the Dog Days of Summer. So, Here...we....go....

Suicidal Tendencies
Despite the bad reviews, Suicide Squad continues to make money. Sure, there are plenty of shortcomings with this film, which I really don't have enough time to get into right now, but you can't argue with that fact that people like a train wreck and close-ups of Margot Robbie's ass.

The Night Of...
The age of TV neo-noir continues with another slick HBO series that captivates the Internet. "The Night Of" is simply wonderful and features a performance that should win John Turturro an Emmy, Golden Globe, and any other type of award someone could win for being the best.

If You Want to View Paradise...
Bidding farewell to a Doctor, a Producer, a Cowboy, and a Dream Maker...

Until next month....kthnxbye

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Ep. 73: Friday the 13th Part III - Movie Commentary: August 2016

Friday the 13th Part III
1982 | Slasher | 1hr 35min

Welcome to the first ever 3D Podcast! How is a audio only podcast in 3D? We have no idea...

Requested by Bradley Taylor,
Friday the 13th Part III once again follows murderer Jason Voorhees, who as a child drowned off the waters of Camp Crystal Lake. Is there anyone that can put an end to Jason's murderous rampage? 

Friday the 13th Part III is a 1982 American 3D slasher film directed by Steve Miner and the third installment in the Friday the 13th film series. Originally released in 3-D, it is the first film to feature antagonist Jason Voorhees wearing his signature hockey mask, which has become a trademark of both the character and franchise, as well an icon in American cinema and horror films in general. As a direct sequel to Friday the 13th (1980) and Friday the 13th Part 2 (1981), the film follows a group of co-eds on vacation at a house on Crystal Lake, where Jason Voorhees has taken refuge. (IMDB)


Friday, August 5, 2016

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR - From Podcast Ep.72

A clip cut from Podcast Ep. 72 ends up on the CUTTING ROOM FLOOR!

Topic "Marc Summers"

On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed.  JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine.  The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne.  Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.
 


Thursday, August 4, 2016

The Simplistic Reviews Podcast (Ep. 72) August 2016

FOR MATURE AUDIENCES ONLY


On this August edition of The Simplistic Reviews Podcast, the boys come back from their vacation and catch up with what they missed.  JD Duran from Insession Film joins them for a game of Word Association and a brand new game called Simplistic Submarine.  The entire Insession family also helps the boys with their ode to Jason Bourne.  Yo-Ho-Ho mateys! All that and more on this episode of the Simplistic Reviews Podcast.



NOTES
Dr. Strange Trailer
Wonder Woman Trailer
Justice League Trailer
Blair Witch Trailer
Kong Skull Island Trailer
Rocketeers
Fantastic Beasts Trailer
Hacksaw Ridge Trailer

MUSIC
Let It Happen By Tame Impala
1976 By RJD2
I Dream Of genie Remix 
Chronos By Hi-Finesse

Check us out on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Letterboxd, and Pinterest

Tuesday, August 2, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: July 2016

And we're back....and it's not A Dinosaur Story....The month of July brought us so many wonderful things, and by wonderful I mean a bunch of things that people bitched about on the Internet. So here....we....Go.

Pokemon...DOH!
Here's the key to 2016. As long as you make every polling station in America a Poke-Stop....motherfu*kers might go out and vote!

Ghost Bust This!
Well, the movie that sent feminists and meninists wild was finally released, and after just about a week, no one was talking about it again...go figure...thanks Internet...we'll move onto our next controversy.

Batgirl Gets Down?!
In one of the most unnecessary revisions in DC Comics Animated history...Batgirl has sex with Batman in the animated version of "The Killing Joke." Look, we know Batgirl is a bad-ass, but in a comic where she is victimized, we also need to see her subjugate herself to having to f*ck Batman on a rooftop? Sorry, spoilers, I'm sure those pages were stuck together in Alan Moore's original draft of his book back in 1989.

That's enough ranting...kthnxbye...

Monday, August 1, 2016

Remember

Remember: Solid


1hr 34mins | Drama/Thriller | 2015

In a New York nursing home, the elderly Auschwitz concentration camp survivor Max Rosenbaum has befriended the dementia patient Zev Guttman, whom he recognized from their days at the camp. Max has continually reminded Zev that their families were murdered at the camp by the Blockführer Otto Wallisch, who immigrated to North America under the false name Rudy Kurlander. Max convinces Zev to avenge their families by seeking out and killing Wallisch. IMDB

Christoper Plummer brings his best in a performance that hits your emotions hard. This movie is all about Plummer's performance, the story is good but his performance is what stands out. 


Zev doesn't know where Otto is, so he must travel to locate the real Otto by finding every Rudy Kurlander he can. Each Rudy (there are 4 Rudy Kurlander) we're introduced to is more interesting then the last. A real crazy moment is when Dean Norris comes in playing one of the Rudy's son. Norris is perfect in his role and the interaction between him and Zev is a one of a few great highlights of this movie. Another is during Zev's travels his dementia keeps taking over and his fight to remember why he's traveling leads to a interesting highlight. In order to do this he reads a letter from Max that gives him a quick refresh of why he is traveling and what happened to his wife. Moments like writing "read the letter" on his wrist gives you a good idea of how bad it is.
 
The movie is good. I was surprised honestly because after a few minutes from when I started it I felt the movie was going way too slow. When the dementia began I thought it was only there to take up time where the writer didn't want to write. Camera movement, staging and lighting added a cheap direct to dvd feel that disappeared quickly as the movie progressed. Everything up to the ending was pretty good. Once the ending came though I must admit how surprised I was. The ending was perfect and it adds one great twist I did not seen coming. Remember is a solid entertaining movie that I was extremely delight to have found. 

Also I would like to note the great Jürgen Prochnow appears. He's pretty awesome.







Copyright © Simplistic Reviews