one word reviews of Movies and TV

Thursday, December 17, 2015

Countdown to the Force Awakens (Episode V) - Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back


APEX
Why do we love The Empire Strikes Back?  A film that is universally considered the best Star Wars film ever.  A film considered one of the best sci-fi/fantasy films ever.  Is it because we're nerds?  No.  Well...yeah...but it's much more than that.

Maybe it's because the great John Williams, from the Imperial March to the Han and Leia Love Theme, created a score that is not only the oxygen of this universe but a constant manipulator of our heartstrings even today.

Maybe it's because of the Millennium Falcon encapsulates cool, freedom, adventure, and hope with every bank turn and asteroid avoiding barrel roll.


Maybe it's because Jim Henson and Frank Oz, two men responsible for bringing to life a majority of our imaginary friends for decades, brought to life yet another creature with more pathos and iconography than many seasoned actors...all while speaking in some strange form of pig Latin.


Maybe it's because Darth Vader, one of the top 3 best cinematic villains of all time, is more villainous and oddly clever in Empire than he is in any other film in the series...but still manages to make us feel for him at the end?


Maybe it's because the romance between Han and Leia was unconventional, confrontational, mean spirited...and still one of the best, most heartfelt and tragic couplings in cinema history...especially since it was originally supposed to end with Han dying.


Maybe it's because it really took the time it did on the self-actualization and development of Luke Skywalker from a meek farm-boy to a confident and capable Jedi upstart...something that would almost never happen today.


Maybe it's because it had one of the most jaw dropping, franchise-altering, twists of all time during a time where twists weren't a cliched Hollywood trope.


Maybe it's because the camaraderie and love felt between Han and Luke and Leia and Chewie and the Droids didn't seem like some manufactured thing for a movie.  It felt obviously genuine.  So genuine, you didn't need to hear Han and Luke say it when they spoke to each other for the last time in that icy Hoth hangar bay


You didn't need to understand the yelping of Chewie when he took those wookiee arms of his, primarily used for tearing off droid arms, and snatched Luke up in a hug.


You didn't need to hear Han tell Leia "I love you too" before he was frozen in carbonite. We knew just like he did.


Maybe it's because George Lucas had the foresight and humility to relinquish the reigns of his creation to another director who had a better understanding of how to bring the heart out of the film.


To be honest, it's all those things and more.  The Empire Strikes Back is the bar.  It is the very APEX of the Star Wars universe and countless childhoods.  It is what every sci-fi adventure film has aspired to be as good as...but not presume to ever be better than.  Because there is nothing that will eclipse The Godfather...nothing that will eclipse Psycho...nothing that will eclipse The Shawshank Redemption...and NOTHING that will eclipse The Empire Strikes Back.  It will forever hold a place in our heart.  AND I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION HOW AWESOME LANDO IS!!!!


Accept Captain Needa's apology...watch out for mynocks...never tell me the odds...watch it...then tell me I'm wrong.

Simplistic Theater Episode VI : Star Wars - Return Of The Jedi

With only 1 day till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode VI
Return Of The Jedi

 

Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Simplistic Theater Episode V : Star Wars - The Empire Strikes Back

With only 2 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode V
The Empire Strikes Back

 

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Countdown to the Force Awakens (Episode IV) - Star Wars: A New Hope - Episode IV

Star Wars: A New Hope - Episode IV
2hr/1min | Action/Adventure/Fantasy | 1977

Magical


In 1977, with a cast of mostly unknowns, the world changed forever. An unknown film called, Star Wars took our imagination and times it by 10. A simple story that became iconic, Star Wars: A New Hope is simply put, Magical. From its cast, to its look, the scope of this film which is just incredible. When you present this film in front of a kid’s eyes, it is almost like a magician preforming tricks. Even now it still kinda comes off like that.

I can’t really review this film because there is a power, a force if you will that is more important then a review. Star Wars is not just a film, for some its life and for others it was their youth. This film is a magical experience.

And it really is amazing just how magical A New Hope is. When I first saw it as a kid in the 90’s my mind was captured by its force. Everything about Episode IV is amazing. When I say that I’m not talking about how it looks or the story, because that stuff is just part of it. But to get this film made is a magical thing in itself. At the time everyone was passing on it. Why not the story on paper probably comes off crazy right?. Imagine reading a script with a Wookie, some droids, the force and a death star. Everyone was probably going, “What the hell is a damn Wookie??!!" 
Yet for $11 million in the 70’s to get this film made is something to behold. Even today this could not be done. Keep in mind as well original ideas were easier to sell back then then today. Thats true, today it’s ether a sequel or remake.  But nonetheless that is still a feat to accomplish.

Star Wars wouldn’t be made today it just wouldn’t

A New Hope is an incredible film to watch. It doesn’t come off cheap or jokey. It’s one of those films that the entire time you’re watching you are just in awe over it. And to think this is the second best film in the saga, and the next one is even more amazing is just wow.


Its sound design is fantastic, sets are incredible, its actors feel perfect and the story is simple.  At any given time, if one of these gears in filmmaking failed the film would have been a joke and bombed big time.


Let's not forget John Williams killing it with that theme song! Tell me the hair on your neck doesn't respond to that song.




The truth is I am not a big Star Wars fan. I watched Star Trek more often then Star Wars yet Star Wars is more embed into my youth. From toys to lunchboxes, Star Wars was there. Of course I had many lightsaber battles, because you know Star Wars! Without A New Hope none of that would of happened.

To watch A New Hope as a child your mind is given a B12 shot and sent into a world of pure imagination. Every kid, boy or girl, since 1977 on has had Star Wars in their life at one part. Star Wars changed the filmmaking world for the better, including the life of a kid.

and that is magical.









Simplistic Theater Episode IV : Star Wars - A New Hope

With only 3 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode IV
A New Hope

 

Monday, December 14, 2015

Simplistic Theater Episode III : Star Wars - Revenge Of The Sith

With only 4 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode III
Revenge Of The Sith 

 

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Simplistic Theater Episode II : Star Wars - Attack Of The Clones

With only 5 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode II
Attack Of The Clones




Saturday, December 12, 2015

Simplistic Theater Episode I : Star Wars - The Phantom Menace

With only 6 days till the release of Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Along with Jay Cluitt, the gang from Simplistic Reviews thought it would be best to do some reenacting of all 6 films. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is

Simplistic Theater

And today we bring you

Episode I
The Phantom Menace 

 

Sunday, December 6, 2015

SR Podcast (Ep. 59): Icebreaker - Movie Commentary: Decemeber 2015



ICEBREAKER

Trailer

2000 | Action/Drama/Poorly Made | 90mins

At the the Killington ski resort something has gone awry. Evil terrorists led by the sinister Greig have taken the resort hostage with a stolen nuclear device. It's up to Ski Patrol bum Matt Foster to save the day... and his fiancé.

How did someone think a knockoff of Die Hard with Sean Astin would be a good idea?


It's that time of the year! Sunday Night Movie Night! Since the holidays are near and the snow is on the ground we figured Icebreaker is the right choice! (boy are we wrong)

Even MJ gives it his seal of approval. So everyone snuggle up in your blanket, pure some eggnog, get that fire going and sit back and enjoy the 2000 Classic, 

Icebreaker!




FUN FACTS:
IT SUCKS
A PEZ IS USED AS A WEAPON
A VHS IS USED AS A WEAPON
BOMBS COUNT UP IN THIS FILM
IS IT BASED ON A TRUE STORY
NOPE THATS A LIE
SEAN ASTIN IS 14 IN THIS FILM AND EVERY OTHER FILM
TOOK US OVER A YEAR TO TRACK DOWN A COPY
WHAT A WASTE OF A YEAR THAT WAS
SEAN ASTIN HAS A COKE PROBLEM
THIS FILM IS ALL OVER THE PLACE
STACY KEACH SIT 99% OF THE FILM
DID I TELL YOU ABOUT THE PEZ?
CHRIST KILL ME!




HAVE YOU SEEN THIS 14 YEAR OLD BOY?

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