one word reviews of Movies and TV

Saturday, December 31, 2016

(Ep. 81): Year End Wrap Up Mini Show - December 2016


This is it guys and girls, the end of an era! The piece of shit known as 2016 is dead. 2016 was nothing but a douche to us all. Think about it, all horrible and horrific stuff. Don't believe me? Fine. Let me ask you, name one thing that was good about 2016?

Still waiting...

Anything?

Yeah we feel you. So to end the year and ring in a new one we have a Mini End of the Year Wrap Up Show! A podcast that wraps up the shitty year of movies into a bite size appetizer to welcome in 2017!

Thank you everyone who has listened this year. We appreciate your support and we have a lot planned for 2017.

"I know it was you, 2016. You broke my heart. You broke my heart."


Sunday, December 25, 2016

(Ep. 80): Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2 - Movie Commentary: December 2016

Merry Christmas! From Simplistic Reviews

Silent Night, Deadly Night: Part 2

1987R‧ Drama/Slasher1h 28min

Trailer 
 
The sequel picks up on Christmas Eve some years after the first movie, with Ricky Caldwell, the 18-year-old brother of the first film's killer, now being held in a mental hospital, awaiting trial for a series of murders that he committed. While being interviewed by the psychiatrist Dr. Henry Bloom, Ricky tells the story of the murders his brother Billy committed throughout a series of several flashbacks using footage from the original film. These flashbacks have new shots to make Ricky appear in more of Billy's original story.

To say Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is a good movie is an understatement. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the greatest movie ever! Come on this is a fun movie to watch. You really have to give it to the team for making a 1hr 30min movie off a 30 page script. Yes I'm somewhat joking, but let's be honest this movie is freaking fun to watch. Every year people watch A Christmas Story or Christmas Vacation for Christmas but I watch Silent Night, Deadly Night 1 and 2. A Christmas Slasher is always a good time.

So this Christmas grab that eggnog and a bowl of that chocolate covered popcorn. Sit down next to that warm fire and lets watch Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2!








Tuesday, December 20, 2016

CUTTING ROOM FLOOR - From Podcast Ep. 79

A little snipped from Podcast Ep. 79 ends up on the CUTTING ROOM FLOOR!

Topic "Suicide Squad False Start"
AKA This movie isn't worth our time
Podcast 79 




Suicide Squad - Extended Cut

2 hours, 14 minutes


Seriously? Yes I don't know why but we did another WB extended-we-don't-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.

What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.

And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.

DJ says it the best. "This is the biggest disappointment of the year".


So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!

All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again...HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)

Don't worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender

Monday, December 19, 2016

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (Matt's Take)

Rogue One - Tough


TOUGH

2015 brought about the resurgence of a franchise literally dragging itself out of the fiery pits of Mustafar. "The Force Awakens" was a worldwide phenomenon; it bridged the gap between successful animated fare like "The Clone Wars" and "Rebels" and washed the taste out of the mouths of fans still angry and beating their plastic lightsabers on the dead horse that were the Star Wars prequels. Since the Lucasfilm/Disney purchase that was so highly touted/publicized/argued, everything has been coming roses for the Star Wars Universe and its fans. Plus, now anything that can be Star Wars, IS Star Wars. Pet clothing, lawnmowers, coffee pots, I"m sure there are even Star Wars-themed Fleshlights out there. I mean come on, one can dream, can't they?

My point is that Star Wars has taken over again. Add in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, and Disney is literally printing money with pictures of Mickey Mouse on it, hey, in a couple of years, the way we are going, that might end up being a legit form of currency.

Oh it's a great time to be alive if you're a fanboy of fangirl.

With all the success that Star Wars has had since it came out of the wilderness following the perceived failure that were the prequel films, there are many that wondered; "When will they slip up?" Much like the MCU, there have been many films where people though the shine was coming off, "Iron Man 3," "Thor: The Dark World," and even "Ant-Man" were films that many can point to where the chinks in the armor were starting to show. And unlike "Star Wars" this was bound to happen with Marvel when introducing characters that were so fringe that it's almost impossible to find a captive audience, of course "Guardians of the Galaxy" is the exception and not the rule.

This brings me to "Rogue One: A Star Wars Story" the first in what is bound to be many stories, and the 2nd film in the "One-Star-Wars-Film-A-Year-Until-The-Day-We-Die" series. Of course that might sound a little snarky, but in this day and age if you aren't snarky you aren't a member of this horrible, horrible Internet that was been created.

So was "Rogue One" good? Yes......and no. As a "Star Wars" fan, of course I loved this film. It finally brought the "War" to "Star Wars." Sure, you get to see "The Clone Wars" in the "Prequel-that-won't-be-named," and who really wants to relive that....

The premise is simple. A band of bad-ass ruffnecks are tasked with stealing the plans to a planet-destroying weapon and thwarting an evil army. It's really as simple as that, The only difference between this film and any other action or sci-fi film that has the same exact plot is that it takes place in the Star Wars Universe. I know....it sounds bad to equate it that simply, but that is exactly what we have here. If this was any other film franchise people would be bashing this film into the ground, but since it's the holy grail of science fiction mythology, the literal scared cow of cinema, the bashing will be light by most reviewers.

With the finished product that is "Rogue One" we can see why the production might have been a little troubled. This is a dark film; this is a war film, and coming off "The Force Awakens" you can see where they tried to lighten the mood with some cameo appearances that I won't spoil, the gallows humor of K-2SO helps, but nonetheless, this is still a dark film that of course brings up the comparison to "The Empire Strikes Back," which in the scheme of things, chronologically, works very well for the canon where you have "A New Hope" now book-ended by two very dark entries.

One of my biggest gripes, and this is similar to a gripe that I have with the MCU as well, is the need for audiences to know EVERYTHING about the universe in order to grasp all the intricacies and "wink-wink nod-nod" moments that fans will love, while casual fans will be left out in the cold. I understand that you have to include fan service, but "Rogue One" is the victim of too much fan service without providing an explanation to crucial plot points. One of the biggest is the use of Kyber Crystals and why they are so important to the universe. Never once, in the history of the FILM universe have Kyber Crystals been spoken about, unless I'm mistaken. Yes, I know, they are used to power a Jedi or Sith's lightsaber. I know that because I KNOW "Star Wars" and do the research. But this is explained more in the prequel book to "Rogue One," "Catalyst" where Kyber Crystals are explained to a larger degree and how they do more then just power lightsabers.

Characterization was also lacking for the most part. We see glimpses of motivations for characters like Jyn Erso (Felicity Jones) and Cassian Andor (Diego Luna), and the duo of Chirrut Imwe and Baze Malbus (who I would LOVE to see a Star Wars Story about them) are my highlights. But in a film where you pretty much know the end result, I assume this was done on purpose because, SPOILER ALERT, a lot of people don't make it. With that, to truly understand the motivation for these characters is pretty inconsequential, but that to me, is also a shortcoming of "Rogue One."

Even with the run-time being two hours and 15 minutes, there were plenty of times where the action could have been dialed back, and we could have gotten to know these characters a little better. Gareth Edwards knows how to do a lot with a little, "Monsters" is a great example of how he was able to generate tension without having to show anything, but with "Rogue One," he chose to go the route of "let's blow up a lot of shit" instead of getting intimate with his wonderful characters. Maybe he felt like he was only going to be able to play in this sandbox once so it was balls-to-the-wall, which is understandable, and I might be in the minority of the person liking bigger and better booms and out-of-this-world CG, but characters come first, especially for a film universe that prides itself on it's mythology.

Overall, for being the first "Star Wars Story" this is a worthy effort despite it's flaws. This is a Star Wars film for fans, made by fans, and that might be one of the biggest issues. Even with the oversight of Disney, I think the inmates ran the asylum a little too much in "Rogue One" and caused this film to feel disjointed, rushed, and wasted the chance to flesh out new characters and instead chose to do it with a different medium, namely a book and cartoon series, "Catalyst" and "The Clone Wars," respectively. I can't knock Disney for trying to tie in their collective mediums, shit, I'm sure there are tons of people buying the e-book or the hardback for "Catalyst" today or binge-watching "Clone Wars," but I don't like having to study for a test in order to understand a film as a whole.

I'll likely give this film another shot in the theater, but unlike my seven screenings of "The Force Awakens" in the theater in 2015/2016, this will be so I can catch all the things I missed. I want to like "Rogue One," but this was a tough film to get behind, even for the die-hard in me. "Rogue One" is the blueprint, which despite it's flaws, is still very watchable and will make fans happy as we finally know what happened to the rebels that gave their lives to help the rebellion.

Sunday, December 11, 2016

(Ep. 79): Suicide Squad - Extended Cut - Movie Commentary: December 2016

Suicide Squad - Extended Cut

2 hours, 14 minutes


Seriously? Yes I don't know why but we did another WB extended-we-don't-give-you-the-full-movie-the-first-time-cut.

What to say about a poorly made film. I mean a 8 year old with iMovie could do a better editing job.

And I feel bad for bringing the 8 year old this luckluster piece of crap.

DJ says it the best. "This is the biggest disappointment of the year".


So we know you really do not want to watch this film again but hell we gave it a try. So this Sunday Funday Movie Night lets give it a GO!

All Board the WB shitliner one more time!
This time the
S. S. We fooled you again...HAHAHA (Shitty Joker laugh)

Don't worry, this time we have Ted Lange as Your Bartender!  





Suicide Squad
It feels good to be bad...Assemble a team of the world's most dangerous, incarcerated Super Villains, provide them with the most powerful arsenal at the government's disposal, and send them off on a mission to defeat an enigmatic, insuperable entity. U.S. intelligence officer Amanda Waller has determined only a secretly convened group of disparate, despicable individuals with next to nothing to lose will do. However, once they realize they weren't picked to succeed but chosen for their patent culpability when they inevitably fail, will the Suicide Squad resolve to die trying, or decide it's every man for himself?

A secret government agency, led by the ruthless, high-ranking official Amanda Waller, recruits some of the most dangerous, incarcerated villains on the planet to execute dangerous black ops missions and save the world from a potentially apocalyptic threat from a mysterious, supernatural entity. If anything goes wrong on this mission, the government will not be liable but rather can place the blame on the villains, who are inherently evil people. A small bomb is implanted in each member of the squad's neck with the capability of detonating any time one of the members tries to rebel or escape. It will be up to this assembled team of villains to prevail over the seemingly impossible events that will unfold before them, in what many deem to be a "suicide mission".







Tuesday, December 6, 2016

3 Simplistic Things: November 2016

We are approaching the New Year at a feverish pitch, and while November might not have gone the way that a lot of people wanted it to go, at least you can say 2017 can't get any worse....or can it?

Netflix on the Go....go

It's difficult to think of a time before Netflix, or streaming, or social media, or just the endless need for people to be needed and/or cut off from the rest of the world because they need to be looking down at their phone. rant end. However, now that Netflix is facing stiffer competition from the likes of Amazon Instant, it was only a matter of time before downloading and taking on the go would be an option for Big Red.

Kanye Being Kanye
So Kanye West cancelled a bunch of his tour dates after people booed him in California for saying that if he did vote, he would have voted for Donald Trump. How could he be so heartless? I mean I'm not saying he's a gold digger, but with all the flashing lights, he really should be stronger....he sucks. (Not from one of his songs....yet)

This Brings Me To.....
 ...aka, beating a dead horse...

kthnxbye guys

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